Most Useless Segment Of “American Idol” Somehow Rendered Even More Useless By Producers’ Shenanigans
An American Idol flack has admitted that the group-sing segments of the weekly talent show are actually lip-synced by the hopefuls, presumably because the producers are afraid that any singers who just know they’re going to be voted off at the end of the interminable hour will go disastrously off-mic, altering the lyrics of songs like “Closer” and “I Kissed A Girl” so they’re actually about the inane commercial-break comedian or the way the steel fist of irony clamped down on Simon Cowell using “too Broadway” as an epithet against singers he didn’t like.
Alas, hoping that this revelation results in the immediate cessation of these group numbers is probably a bad idea for two reasons: First, the powers that be at Fox haven’t yet decided to cut the show to half an hour (or, even better, to a blipvert between reruns of Hell’s Kitchen), so cutting that number would probably result in a somehow-more-inane “ask the audience” segment; and second, every aspiring pop star in America should have to make jazz hands at least once in their lives. (Hey, I even did it back in elementary school. Trust me when I say it builds character.)
