“American Idol” Hops Off The Oil Rig

Mar 27th, 2009 // 21 Comments

Last night, Michael Sarver—the oil rigger whose vocal prowess proved to fall apart when he was forced to sing a song that was any faster than a treacly ballad—was dispatched from American Idol, in a move that, let’s be honest, wasn’t all that surprising, and was probably about two weeks overdue. What was sorta odd to me, however, was that the Bottom Three this week was all guys—and that one of those guys put on one of the better performances Wednesday night.

No, really. What was Matt Giraud—who gave a performance that was at least somewhat exciting without diving into the family-karaoke pit during the performance show, which automatically put him in the upper half of performers for this reporter—doing at the lower reaches of the poll? Especially when Megan Joy Corkrey, whose performance of “For Once In My Life” was an embarrassment on the level of “Eight Days A Week,” remained on the Couches Of Safety. Not that this would be the first time someone called shenanigans on the producers this week, but there is something very fishy about this—particularly when you look at the gender balance of the show, which has a two-to-one male-to-female ratio going into Top Nine Week. Hmm. Hmmm.

Speaking of Top Nine Week, the dirt-digging Idol blog Top Idol is claiming that next week’s theme will be “Top iTunes Downloads,” presumably as a way to pump more cross-promotional cash into 19 Entertainment’s coffers. I’m already imagining what Adam Lambert’s will do to “Just Dance,” never mind how Megan Joy Corkrey will finally reach her full-body-twitch peak with a crazy version of “Right Round.”

American Idol [Official site]

  1. Jerkwheat

    I’m already imagining what Adam Lambert’s will do to “Just Dance”

    Most likely while not wearing pants so as to further Ga-Ga it up.

  2. pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at

    I’m already imagining what Adam Lambert’s will do to “Just Dance”

    Most likely while not wearing pants so as to further Ga-Ga it up.

  3. King of Pants

    Hasn’t Megan Joy been taken up by VFTW? That alone could swing votes. Plus, Matt went first?

    Also, not to get all nate Silver on you, but my hunch is that Adam, Anoop, Allison and Danny are getting HUGE chunks of the votes. Like, let’s assume that each of them is getting 15% of the total votes. (I’m going to take a guess that 15% would be lowballing it for, say, Adam, but just theoretically.) That leaves 40% of the votes to divide amongst the other six. Lil’s got a good chunk of them, I’m sure – let’s say 10%. Megan has her VTFW block, plus she’s a hot blond chick. So that means you have Kris, Matt, Michael and Scott scrabbling over, maybe, 25% of the total vote. At that level, even the smallest of differences make a huge impact. Matt may have had a good performance this week, but he’s still not at the level of the first four (and Danny, as obnoxious as he is, is decent enough to be top-line, never mind His Dead Wife); he doesn’t have the built-in belty-diva constituency nor the cracked-out lunatic constituency. He’s just a weak-milk Justin Timberlake wannabe with nothing to distinguish him from other White Men in Shirts.

    Aaaaaaaaaaaand done.

  4. Anonymous

    Matt will be doing some JT song next week right? Or is that way to obvious?

  5. Maura Johnston

    @Matt_T: He won’t if it’s the current iTunes Top 100. He doesn’t have a song in it.

    Also, I forgot to WTF about this, but WTF ABOUT LADY GAGA BEING ON NEXT WEEK’S SHOW. ugh ugh uggghghghghghghhh

  6. Maura Johnston

    I hope someone does “Mad”!

  7. Chris Molanphy

    @Maura Johnston: He won’t if it’s the current iTunes Top 100. He doesn’t have a song in it.

    JT, you mean? What about “Dead and Gone”? Okay, I guess he’d have to remove every word of the T.I. rap, unless he wanted to bull a Blake Lewis and try one quick verse of beatboxing to lead it off.

    All I’ll add to your recap is: yay, Scott in the bottom three — got my wish. That needs to happen a couple more times. I don’t wish ill on the kid, but he needed a comedown. And unless he un-Hornsby’s himself in the next week or two, he’ll probably be gone before the Top Five. Which, let’s face it, was always his destiny, anyway.

  8. Chris Molanphy

    Sorry: [pull a Blake Lewis]

  9. Varina

    @Maura Johnston: With David Cook, no less – so it’s going to go from me being really happy to me cringing. Although part of me thinks that there are worse popcult things to be mad at right now, like defending oneself for watching “Rock of Love Bus.”

    At least the rumored theme might produce a) songs we haven’t heard 20 times before or b)current songs.

    Giraud shouldn’t have been so low, but he’s not getting votes. Some people think he has a sense of entitlement, and I don’t think he’s had a breakout performance yet. I think he falls by the wayside when you take into account Gokey’s fanbase, Megan’s VFTW, Anoop’s Anoop-ness, Kris Allen’s good looks, and Scott’s blindness.

  10. Varina

    @King of Pants: Allison is NOT getting a sizeable chunk of votes, if DialIdol is to be believed. She did well this week because she was pimped. It’s Lil Rounds who has a solid base, despite her lack of a breakout/heavily praised performance so far.

  11. Jerkwheat

    Kris Allen singing “I’m Yours” is pretty much a given, no?

  12. pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at

    Kris Allen singing “I’m Yours” is pretty much a given, no?

  13. King of Pants

    @Varina: Interesting. Where can I find this delicious data?

    And you really don’t have to defend watching Rock of Love. Although with the Blondterage gone, is there a point?

  14. Rube Goldberg

    @King of Pants: I like this analysis. If I could add another factor, there is also the consideration of how fanbases disperse once their Idol of choice gets the boot. If I had to guess, the people who were voting for Alexis would probably now be voting for Megan (one part blond, one part honky tonk tone, one part “Fuck you for kicking off Alexis”) or Allison.

    I would guess that Sarver’s votes would go to Megan (one part country, one part “Fuck you”) and Kris (for objective attractiveness).

  15. janine

    I thought that Simon had a reverse Daughtry. By saying “you’ll be in trouble tomorrow” he motivated some people to vote.

    My thought on Matt is that he’s incredibly boring and that he will be out soon because his main competitor is the also boring Kris. While Scott is dated and boring, Matt and Kris are a sort of contemporary boring, like they should be fronting a NH1 “You Oughtta Know” band. Here’s the kicker, Kris is actually attractive. Matt has a face that looks like a very bad picture of an attractive person.

    The one thing I’ll miss about Scott: he’s less aware of his face. I’ve seen Idol contestants get a bit heated before, but the raw contempt and impatience on his face last week during Randy and Paula’s piano argument was brilliant. I wish I could see that guy perform.

  16. Varina

    @King of Pants: I think it’s like DialIdol.com. It’s not always correct but it’s a fairly honest breakdown most of the time.

    I’m not defending myself for watching RoL Bus; I’m referring to people like Diablo Cody.

  17. Anonymous

    Am I the only one who really liked Megan. Barring her last performance, I don’t see how she’s done anything to deserve VFTW.

  18. Anonymous

    @OOS: Megan is my favorite, too. I think she’s thoroughly entertaining, and shockingly unique for American Idol.

  19. brasstax

    Megan was interesting one time, at her initial audition. Since then she’s been a terror on both the ears and eyes (srsly, that nervious shimmy dance she does makes me want to kick the television).

  20. michael is the worst of the three lol :D

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