Hard Rock Park Flips The Dial To Freestyle

Apr 13th, 2009 // 6 Comments

The new owners of the bankrupted music-themed amusement park Hard Rock Park are planning on keeping the roller coasters in Myrtle Beach rattling and rolling under a new name: Freestyle Music Park. As it turns out, 81% of people responding to a local paper’s poll hate the name, even though it’s supposed to honor the park’s commitment to “the celebration of that revolutionary phenomenon rock n’ roll but also encompasses other genres of music including country, reggae, beach music, pop, R&B, alternative, Christian, and disco.” (And complement the name of a sister park in Russia, which may explain the odd locution of that press-release snippet.) But is a general-interest amusement park really what this age of niches needs? I think it should take a different tack, and go deep and narrow into the genre that it’s named after! A few suggested attractions after the jump.

The “Spring Love” Water Slide!

The “What Goes Around Comes Around” Ferris Wheel!

The Exposé “Point Of No Return” parachute drop!

The “I Wonder If I Take You Home”… Haunted House!

Just think—it can sell “Lookout Weekend” two-day passes and sell “Diamond Girl” ring pops to sweets-craving kids. Hey guys, I know you’re hiring! Call me and we can work this out!

Freestyle Music Park [Official site]
Park chucks Rock name, goes with Freestyle Music Park [The Sun-News]
Hard Rock Park Is Dead; Long Live Freestyle Music Park [WalletPop]


  1. Lucas Jensen

    I was gonna make a Sweet Sensation/Expose joke when I saw the name change, but you beat me to it “after the jump.” Darn it, Maura!

  2. Tenno

    Nah. They should call it “Too Dark Park” and sell only the darkest of goods.

  3. musicquizking

    How about the “TKA TUNNEL OF LOVE” as one of the attractions?

  4. bcapirigi

    There could also be an Inside Outside ride that, um, spun all around.

    As long as the park looked like the Lost In Emotion video…

  5. Anonymous

    This story makes me smile.

  6. Halfwit

    The Expose “Point of No Return” parachute drop

    Our judges would also have accepted The “Catch Me, I’m Falling” parachute drop.

    “Catch Me, I’m Falling”

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