If Hell’s Frat Party Had A Soundtrack, Hypercrush And 3OH!3 Would Be It

Apr 22nd, 2009 // 33 Comments

It’s possible I’m just bitter because the members of the electro-pop act Hyper Crush encouraged their fans to tag the exterior wall of my favorite music venue Club Congress on Sunday night, but between those clowns, the incredibly depressing 3OH!3, and (to a lesser extent) LMFAO, the recent wave of nu-electro–which marries misogyny and generally fratty behavior with semi-danceable beats–just feels like a jackass invasion scored by synths.

Hey Hyper Crush, if you want to be known as the band that commits acts of vandalism after you play a venue, I suppose that’s a angle to run with. But I prefer to think of you (and your single “RoboTech”) as the worst music I’ve ever heard.

I originally assumed 3OH!3 were some sort of parody act until I saw 500 teenage girls sporting the band’s merchandise when I went to see the AP tour featuring Family Force 5 and the Maine along with 30H!3. As far as I can tell, their big single “Don’t Trust Me” is about teenage girls getting drunk and having sex with guys from bands. Classy!

The song has recieved some airplay here on the pop station, which makes me realize I need to have the radio in my car removed as soon as possible.

What I wonder is, what influenced these guys? For a long time, synths were largely the territory of sickly kids that didn’t get out much–this writer included–so where this stuff comes from is beyond me. If it could go back to that place soonish, though, that would be great!

In case you wanted to see the hard rocking life of some bros on tour, here’s the clip of Hyper Crush as accomplices to vandalism here in Tucson (from MySpace, natch):

Hyper Crush fans tag Club Congress, band posts video [AZNightBuzz]

Hyper Crush in Arizona [MySpace]

  1. Most of the frat guys around here listen to Widespread Panic and stuff like that.

  2. gotta admit, i’m late to the game on these acts. but this whole post feels like hipster elitism. for instance, i suspect that if andy samberg released these songs they’d be cool. just sayin.

  3. @robmorast:

    Black dress with the tights underneath,
    I got the breath of the last cigarette on my teeth,
    And shes an actress (actress),
    But she ain’t got no need.
    Shes got money from her parents in a trust fund back east.
    T-t-t-tongues always pressed to your cheeks,
    While my tongue is on the inside of some other girls teeth,
    T-tell your boyfriend if he says hes got beef,
    That I’m a vegetarian and I ain’t fucking scared of him.

    She wants to touch me (Woah),
    She wants to love me (Woah),
    She’ll never leave me (Woah, woah, oh, oh),
    Don’t trust a ho,
    Never trust a ho,
    Won’t trust a ho,
    Won’t trust me.
    (x2)

    X’s on the back of your hands,
    Wash them in the bathroom to drink like the bands.
    And your setlist (setlist),
    You stole off the stage,
    Had red and purple lipstick all over the page.
    B-b-b-bruises cover your arms,
    Shaking in the fingers with the bottle in your palm.
    And the best is (best is),
    No one knows who you are,
    Just another girl alone at the bar.

    She wants to touch me (Woah),
    She wants to love me (Woah),
    She’ll never leave me (Woah, woah, oh, oh),
    Don’t trust a ho,
    Never trust a ho,
    Won’t trust a ho,
    Won’t trust me.
    (x2)

    Shush girl shut your lips,
    Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.
    I said, Shush girl shut your lips,
    Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.
    I said, Shush girl shut your lips,
    Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.

    yeah, uh. no.

  4. Freezepop does not approve.

  5. @Maura

    perhaps years of listening to turbonegro has dulled my disgust factor, but i just don’t understand the big deal.

    i still maintain if andy samberg released a video urging people to “do the hellen keller with your hips” it would be viral in a day with thumbs up from everyone but the american association for people with disabilities.

  6. Those !3OH3! guys are pretty bad, but I didn’t hate the beats in the Hypercrush song(didn’t like anything else though). I have to agree that Samberg would be completely embraced if he released some of this. I mean, what was “Jizz in my Pants”? Certainly not good, that’s for sure. Also, I love LMFAO. I can get behind that.

  7. I co-sign this whole post but take solace in the fact that most of the fans for these bands are 12-17-years-old and will eventually lose interest as the years go by.

    That said, can we coin a new genre for these groups, like “DBag-Dance-Pop” or something?

  8. i think it’s funny that both videos start with a computer screen and the sound of keys clattering away. as if the music didn’t already suffer from a lack of ideas….

    @robmorast

    you might be right, but at least with samberg there’s an expectation that what he’s doing is supposed to be funny. whether it is or isn’t is completely subjective (and irrelevant), but with these bands, there’s no certainty of that. i think the ambiguity of their intentions is what’s most disturbing. taken as a joke or ‘ironic’ these songs aren’t very funny, but taken as serious, they’re just plain sad.

  9. @robmorast With Samberg’s humor, generally the butt of the joke is the narrator. With these bands, it’s on the teenage girls. I dunno, which seems more appealing to you?

  10. @ borntohula (great name, by the way) and Dan Gibson; well, duh.

    and in another “duh” statement, why rip on these bands and not the misogyny in acceptedly cool hip-hop songs? double standard time.

    what seems to be apparent is that it’s easier – socially and morally – to rip on the archetype of white fratboy douches than the archetype of black hip-hop douches.

    personally, i’m going to start ripping on the archetype of douche football players who become authors.

  11. @robmorast Okay, sir, your points just went from irrelevant to impenetrable. Stick to the topic at hand.

    To me, the topic at hand is not just that the lyrics are gross, but also that these are bad songs. Am I going to have to hear them all summer?

  12. @robmorastWell, I’m remarking on these bands because the trend within the realm of “white” music seems somewhat new (at least to my ears), especially when mixed with electro, which was never a particularly cool sound. If hip hop misogyny became news somehow, I’d probably comment on that too.

    Help me understand what your complaint is. That the sound is nothing new? The misogyny isn’t new? That I’m a racist? A hipster? A square?

  13. @robmorast

    thanks.

    i’m willing to bet that someone at idolator has called misogynist rappers on their shit before. it’s old news. not to say that we still shouldn’t be critical of it, but there are only so many things that can be discussed in a day. even if they haven’t formally knocked on misogyny in rap before, that doesn’t mean that they actively support it either.

  14. Have any advocates for the disabled complained about the Helen Keller jokes yet? Or have they not gotten past the fact that 3OH!3 is the worst band name possibly ever? Because I’m having trouble getting past that.

  15. A better question is, what were you doing at the AP tour? I’m all for the fun pop-emo (Academy Is, Cobra Starship) but those bands offer nothing at all. They couldn’t write a hook if one slapped them across the face. Also, The Maine, is just terrible. The singer’s voice goes flat at every possible chance of melody.

  16. @2ironic4u I went to see/interview Family Force 5.

  17. The author of this piece is a pussy. 3oh!3 is the hot shit.

  18. I’m al for Helen Keller jokes; after all, I’m in college. But I’m thankful to have never actually heard 30H!3 and their music, as they’re well liked by most of the degenerates on campus.

  19. “What I wonder is, what influenced these guys? For a long time, synths were largely the territory of sickly kids that didn’t get out much–this writer included–so where this stuff comes from is beyond me. If it could go back to that place soonish, though, that would be great!”

    Yes, please! It sucks when the douchebag, sexist frat boys take stuff away from us sickly kids and ruin it forever.

    Argh, I never even knew about this stuff until right now. I think something has died inside me tonight.

  20. @lindsaytOMG ROTF LMFAO.

    Kill me.

  21. How does BROKENCYDE not get a mention here??

    And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE can we lay “frat” and its derivatives to bed?

  22. whoops, brokencyde link didnt work.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8F5YSA1Oz0

    it makes that shit posted above seem great.

  23. 3oh!3 the greatest show on earth!

    Since when would you characterize this type of music as “fart music”, you retard!

  24. @lindsayt: hey, can you resist the siren call to engage in name-calling? thanks.

  25. @lindsayt: Are you a real person?

  26. I blame Hellogoodbye for all of this.

  27. This might sound like a stretch, but I wholly blame Girl Talk for this. He made the acceptance of cheesy electro and dance sounds ok for so-called “bros” who love to get drunk and try to make out with girls for however long a Girl Talk album lasts. Also, I know some bros from Boulder, CO (which has the 303 area code. Yeah, sweet band name, guys!) who have told me that 3OH!3 used to be way more “hardcore” than the “pussy shit” they play now.

  28. @Weezy F Baby: I laughed out loud when they started screaming “Liar!” in that girls ear. It’s like they literally just combined the genres of screamo and frat dance without even trying to make them fit together at all. The worst.

  29. Danielle

    Bleak.

  30. Danielle

    Bleak

  31. Danielle

    Bleak.

  32. As a 30 year old male, I must say, Hyper Crush is where it’s at. They may not be 100% original but the combine 80s synth with a late 80s/early 90′s look with old school rap in a way that takes me back. I don’t agree with everything they talk about, but kind of like Hinder and 80′s metal, it’s a guilty pleasure.

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