The Cutout Bin: Everybody Has Something Funny To Say These Days

In order to celebrate America, Idolator will be taking tomorrow off. But before we close things out, here are a few stories we missed during this verifiably insane week: • Hey, look! An entire AP story speculating about who might fill London’s O2 Arena in the wake of Michael Jackson‘s death that includes a) some Sun-sourced speculation about an ABBA reunion and b) the following fan reasoning for why Whitney Houston should perform instead: “”because they suffer the same pain and deal with the same demons: drugs.” Ay yi yi. [AP] • To continue Great Moments In Quotes, here’s Nick Cannon on the speculation that his wife Mariah Carey is going to use her forthcoming video for “Obsessed” as a way to lampoon Eminem: “My wife doesn’t beef. She’s Mariah Carey. She’s not beefin’, she’s a vegetarian.” [MTV] • BTW, speaking of MTV, I just caught Drake‘s new video on MTV Hits and all the bouncing breasticles were left intact. There were, however, a few words bleeped out! • Raekwon‘s Only Built For Cuban Linx… Pt. II has been pushed back to Sept. 8 because of sample-clearance issues. [Twitter] • Lil Wayne has postponed his European tour–which was supposed to kick off, um, at around now in Paris–because of “doctor-mandated rest.” [AllHipHop] • And finally, Sesame Street Slayer: What we all need after watching that Daughtry-on-GaGa clip. [Metal Injection]