Last month I found myself in Miami, and while I was there I noticed that a bunch of souvenir shops lining the more popular drags were stuffed with brightly colored T-shirts emblazoned with the all-caps statement I’M IN MIAMI BITCH. (Some were more gramatically incorrect than others.) Initially I ascribed this to some sort of oddly placed civic pride—hey, times are tough down there what with the condo glut and all—but in fact, it’s an extension of a song by the unfortunately named joke-hop outfit LMFAO. In an effort to boost the song’s slowly deflating chart ranking, and/or so other cities don’t feel left out, the group released versions of the track for many major metropolitan areas to iTunes this week.
Here is the video for the radio version of the Miami-centric original, which substitutes “trick” for “bitch” in the chorus. Curiously, whoever edited the clip does not make the same effort with everyone’s shirts. A sly comment on the target demo’s literacy? Hm!
Using the iTunes Store’s “sort by popularity” function, we can see what other cities in America want to declare their geolocation more than others, or at least in a hot-pinker way. Not to mention where the populace is too demure to spend 99 cents on a song that has “bitch” in its title! The top 10:
1. Miami (dirty remix)
2. Los Angeles (“bitch” version)
3. “The Bay” (“bitch” version)
4. Detroit (clean version)
5. Los Angeles (clean version)
6. “H-Town” (clean version)
7. Diego (“bitch” version)
8. Las Vegas (“bitch” version)
9. New Jersey (clean version)
10. Cleveland (clean version)
The lowest-selling version is one devoted to “The Rapids,” which could apply to either Iowa or Michigan, I think. I just want to thank LMFAO for not making a Long Island-centric one, since it would have given me even more reasons to hang my head at my origins.