Attention Aspiring Bridezilla-Fameballs: Here Are Six Songs That You Can Use For “Dancing Down The Aisle” Purposes

noah | July 28, 2009 11:00 am

The much-ballyhooed video featuring a soon-to-be-married couple and their wedding party dancing down the aisle to Chris Brown’s “Forever” has just passed the 10-million-view mark, leaving some chart success for the song (which is still in the iTunes Store’s top 10 as of this writing) in its wake. Perhaps more important than Brown’s career being revived by two people who are not on his payroll, though, is the effect that this clip will have on soon-to-be-married people who want their weddings to be just as special and media-frenzy-like as the blessed union of Kevin Heinz and Jill Peterson. To that end, Idolator presents six songs that could help you, soon-to-be-wedded person, turn your Big Day into a Viral Event. (NB: If you do use one of these suggestions, I accept invitations via e-mail!) “Umbrella,” Rihanna PROS: Lyrics about being there for the other person in a time of need nicely echoes your standard vow-sentiments; if the wedding is outdoors, the choreography can help shield the wedding party from the elements. CONS: One gust of wind, and your wedding-party video will go viral for all the wrong reasons. “Panama,” Van Halen PROS: Obvious opportunity for entrance on a zip-line = YouTube gold. CONS: You probably won’t be able to wear a dress with a train if you take up that option. “There She Goes,” The La’s PROS: Great song, and it’ll get everyone focusing on how beautiful the bride is to boot. CONS: You do know it’s about heroin, right? “Lovebug,” The Jonas Brothers PROS: It’s adorable! CONS: It may inadvertently start a stampede of all the under-14 ladies in attendance. The original Doublemint Gum jingle, since “Forever” is pretty much just an update of that song PROS: Possible Wrigley sponsorship means you can afford to invite everyone on your dream guest list! CONS: Coming down the aisle to “A double pleasure’s waiting for you” will have all those guests thinking about your honeymoon, and what sort of bachelorette-party gifts you packed for it. “Trapped in the Closet,” R. Kelly PROS: If you have a really really really big wedding party that includes a midget and someone who likes pie, you’re golden. CONS: Moustaches and wigs might break budget; obvious openings for water-sports-related jokes in reception toasts; bride entering to climactic “That ho was meeee” at the end of Chapter 12 may scandalize some more delicately constituted relatives. Earlier: Chris Brown Still Getting Wedding Presents From Jill And Kevin