Jennifer Lopez Enters The Flop-Record Protection Program

Oct 7th, 2009 // 15 Comments

Apparently Jennifer Lopez is still worried that the stench of failed recording artist is still lingering over her, even though it’s been a full two years since her last album Brave dropped and subsequently sank like a stone. Her new single, the Pitbull-assisted “Fresh Out The Oven,” isn’t credited to Jennifer Lopez, or even to J. Lo; instead, the song is “by” the anonymous, uncomfortably shod “Lola,” who’s MySpace besties with the likes of Beyonce, Lady GaGa, and Lindsay Lohan. Will this identity shift result in Sasha Fierce-sized success, or is this project going to be J. Lo’s very own The Life Of Chris Gaines? Clip after the jump.





So I guess Lola isn’t “the able-to-sing alter ego of J. Lo”? Too bad.


Jennifer Lopez/Lola feat. Pitbull – Fresh Out the Oven [YouTube]
Lola [MySpace]

  1. This is cable access J.Lo. The worst part is that after this morning, Mariah’s probably gonna follow suit straight up.

  2. @Evie: Someone get the ice-cream truck ready!

  3. I like the synth hook, actually. But I’ve often found something to like in the production of several J.Lo singles over the years, and her voice/presence is the least interesting (and sometimes most annoying) aspect. This one’s no exception — especially her douche-chill-inducing “get the cookie” rap in the middle.

    BTW, this is the 10-year anniversary of her first, Tommy Mottola–pimped and heavily svengali’d album. Um…yay?

  4. Wow, I’ve always hated Jennifer Lopez, but this Lola, she seems like a nice fresh face on the pop scene. I like her fiery Latina vibe. Let’s go buy her album!

    @Maura, @Evie: Thanks to Em we already know Mariah’s pseudonym – Mary Poppins!

  5. @Chris Molanphy: I concur on that synth line. It is, as J.Lo intones in the chorus, “sweet sugar lovin’.”

  6. Jennifer Lopez turned 40 in July. Hasn’t she got something better to sing about than being in the club?

  7. @pdfreeman: Madonna is 50 (isn’t she?) and still sings about “get[ting] stupid”

  8. @chachwitablog: Which is why I compared her recent work to Ethel Merman’s disco album.

  9. @Maura:

    How would you feel if someone close to you had a depression who underwent treatment and overcame it . . . and have someone crack a wise-ass tangential joke about that person going into relapse? You think that’s funny?

    Where’s your empathy? Maura, that was uncalled for, even from you.

  10. @barnok: Close personal friends of people who used to be depressed are tougher than you give them credit for. If there’s one thing close personal friends of people who used to be depressed can’t stand; it’s people who don’t give them credit for their ability to function in the world.

  11. @barnok: All I’m going to say is that in the post-dignity era, it wouldn’t surprise me if someone at Mariah’s label floated the idea of her going back to that period in some way — after all, people were writing about her back then, and it’s important to get press by any means necessary.

  12. Before this conversation fades off, just a reminder that the anono-release route can sometimes work wonders:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXs0r47STuY&feature=related

  13. @Halfwit: Mme. Lopez should consider copying that video for this track’s promotion. Offensive dancing is what all the kids are into.

  14. deftomlondon

    To Maura: Oh no you didn't!!!
    You are comparing an accomplished singer/songwriter/producer with a 5 octave range with this fat arsed untalented Latin bitch?
    I will cut you!!!

  15. jtn mitä sinä et ymmärrä :)

Leave A Comment