No. 48: The Moldy Peaches, “Who’s Got The Crack?”

Christopher R. Weingarten | October 20, 2009 - 1:00 pm

The Moldy Peaches were somehow lumped into those “return of New York rock” puff pieces at the turn of the decade, despite the fact that they rocked about as hard as the fluid in Grandma’s goiter. The booger-eating moron brainchild of the two of the most grating people on the planet, the Moldy Peaches were the equivalent of a seventh-grader from gifted class screeching “Cheese monkey!” at bullies until they were too sad and confused to give him the beating he so clearly deserved.

Oh yeah, remember how those kids said “crack” a lot too. Crack’s funny, right? Haha. You know, like on crack. Yeah. Hahaha. Crack. Oh man, “Panama Jack.” British people loved this as much as they loved other awesome things from the decade, like the Darkness and the Iraq War. Some sample lyrics from this gem: “I am a goat / In a moat / With a boat.”

I’m not some old cynic who can’t understand the appeal of childhood nostalgia as a way to channel the old, good, innocent times. But when will people realize this shit just reveals more about how most people are just painfully uncreative adults?

The Moldy Peaches – Who’s Got The Crack? [YouTube]
The Moldy Peaches [Official site]
F2K: Idolator Counts Down The 50 Worst Songs Of The ’00s, One By Ear-Splitting One