No. 47: Akon, “Sorry, Blame It On Me”

Oct 20th, 2009 // 9 Comments

You’d think that someone would have told Akon, the go-to hook man of the mid-’00s, that starting his apologia “Sorry, Blame It On Me” by saying that he intended “to apologize for things I have done, and things that haven’t occurred yet, and things they don’t want to take responsibility for” probably wasn’t the best way to come off as a sincere guy. Then again, you’d think that someone would have told him the old “the dog ate my Internet while I was on tour with Gwen Stefani” excuse wasn’t really going to fly, either.

When “Sorry Blame It On Me” debuted in mid-2007, Akon was dealing with a variety of public-relations disasters related to his humping people on and hurling people from stages. “Sorry” was part of his attempt to burnish his public image, only its confused lyrical intent and the aforementioned intro only served to make one wonder if this bit of contrition was better off appearing on his MySpace blog—or perhaps even in private, or maybe even nowhere at all. In a sing-song melody that came straight from the playground, he took the following tack: First, he apologized to his “girl”; then, he apologized to his mother, in part on his father’s behalf; and finally, he sorta-not-really-apologized to the “haters,” while taking time out to scorn those who had wronged him:

I’m sorry that it took so long to see
They were dead wrong trying to put it on me
I’m sorry that it took so long to speak
But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani
I’m sorry for the hand that she was dealt
For the embarrassment that she felt
Just a little young girl trying to have fun
Her daddy should never let her out that young
I’m sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around
How was I to know she was underage
In a 21 and older club they say
Why doesn’t anybody wanna take blame
Verizon backed out disgracing my name
I’m just a singer trying to entertain
Because I love my fans I’ll take that blame
Even though the blame’s on you
Even though the blame’s on you
Even though the blame’s on you
I’ll take that blame from you

Yes, that’s right: Everything that happened on that stage is the fault of bad parenting and even worse bouncing, and also Akon apparently didn’t have the Internet while he was on tour with Gwen Stefani. Also, dude, Verizon dumped you and you’re still going to name-drop the brand in your song? I can’t tell if it’s pathetic in a “please take me back, I’ll still shill for you even though you wronged me” way or just dumb.

Akon – Sorry Blame It On Me [Dailymotion]
Akon [Official site]
F2K: Idolator Counts Down The 50 Worst Songs Of The ’00s, One By Ear-Splitting One

  1. Yikes. I’m wondering if each of these songs might point to an entire SUBGENRE of bad songs. This one is probably the “awkwardly referencing real events in slightly smug manner” variety; Chris Brown’s “Changed Man” is a good candidate.

    Also interested to see how many of these songs come from the second half of the decade, which feels like it had way way way more loud-n-proud terrible songs than the first half.

  2. DJP

    I like how this is balancing out, where Chris’s picks so far are full-on auditory offenses and yours sound nice enough but have horrifying contexts.

  3. I love how the cover looks like the cheesiest high school senior picture ever.

  4. @dabug: “Changed Man” was reportedly written before the Rihanna incident!

  5. Sorry, Blame It On Me < My Humps

    (that one was almost too tough to call, though)

  6. I forgot about this one. To carry on with the song’s theme, I’m sorry for clicking on the “play” button…

    Also, someone hearing this followed by “No One” and “I’m Yours” would think that there was only one chord progression known to man this decade!

  7. I like the media-mashup at the beginning. When the guy says “Criminal Past!” it sounds like the “In a world where vigilantes reign!” movie-voice-over guy, and I’m trying really hard to decide if the song is as bad as it is without the video. Because that video… damn that’s a bad piece of promotion.

  8. @Maura I’m sure “3″ was written before Mary Travers died, but it’s still really weird! And Chris goes the extra mile in it — “seems like ‘Everyone Hates Chris’” bleeeeaggghhhh. Stick to mediocre Transformers tie-ins plz and then disappear 4eva.

  9. akons not that bad

    honestly you cant put it soley on akon yea he did it but if a teenager got arrested for underage drinking you blame the teenager and the parent so whats different than lying to your parents and going to a club. in addition the bouncing was terrible considering its an over 21 bar and theres a 16 year old girl there? I think that that seems alittle like its not all akons fault and its unfair to pin all the blame on him…try the girl, her dad, the bouncer?
    As for the Internet not working on tour. Use your head he’s performing every night and if thats not enough flying city to city getting to the concerts.

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