Michael Jackson’s “Thriller,” Version 2.0: Uh…

In preparation for his ill-fated “This Is It” run at the O2 arena in London, Michael Jackson apparently remade three of his videos to be played between set changes: “Earth Song,” “Man In The Mirror,” and “Thriller,” which is obviously the big deal in this context because of the original clip’s iconic status. The videos will reportedly be included in Jackson’s posthumous concert doc This Is It, which comes out next week. (No word on if they’ll be played in full, or in part.) Five sinking feelings I experienced upon reading the news that “Thriller” had been updated for the new generation: 1. Vincent Price: May 27, 1911 – October 25, 1993. 2. And speaking of dead people, how many of the clip’s zombies are going to be the product of not makeup, but really cheesy-looking CGI? 3. I’m pretty sure that this mangled bit of verbiage—“Payne promises that the new ‘Thriller’ is nothing like the boy on the date with the girl, while at the same time, ‘We didn’t touch what we considered the sacred inside of it.’ “—means that the ’09 version will have much of its charm stripped of it. (OK, the dancing is charming, yes. But you know what I mean. And will said footwork be as charming if the prediction in No. 2 comes true?) 4. Not to speak ill of the dead, but do we not remember the remakes Jackson did of his own songs for the Thriller 25 project? Like the Akonvicted “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin'”?