Justin Bieber’s Swagger Is So Out Of Whack It Needs Its Own Coach
Still dreaming of a career in music, even though piracy and radio consolidation have ravaged the business? There are plenty of jobs out there — in fact, we’ve just identified the second-best position in music (that is, the second-most-desirable job after J-Lo catsuit buffer). Teen sensation (and flower delivery boy) Justin Bieber has his own personal “swagger coach.” What the hell does that mean? And do you need a swagger coach? Find out after the jump.
Via MTV’s Buzzworthy blog, Bieber told the Kansas City Star, “I have a swagger coach that helps me and teaches me different swaggerific things to do… He has helped me with my style and just putting different pieces together and being able to layer and stuff like that.”
Well, that’s also called a stylist, but we much, much prefer the term “swagger coach,” and Bieber’s is former Usher assistant and seemingly full-time hipster Ryan Good (who has a helluva lot of friends on his MySpace Music page, though it appears he abandoned it about the time Bieber invaded the zeitgeist). We’re not sure just how one becomes a swagger coach or what one actually does—quiz their clients on the subtle differences between Axe and Tag body spray? Force them to complete an obstacle course while sporting a fedora and cane?—but Good appears poised to become this generation’s Fonzworth Bentley, especially if Bieber continues to dominate Twitter trends, releases a few more hits, and keeps on creating wars with musicians more famous than he is.
If you’re in dire need of swagger enhancement/repair, but lack the cash to hire a full-time guy like Justin did, just watch the video below for some tips.