The Morning Mix: Jessica Simpson Prepares To Punch John Mayer

Good morning! While some people might be posturing Jessica Simpson as a victim of ex John Mayer’s big mouth, she’s not letting his comments about their sex life go down without a fight—yesterday the pop/reality-show star tweeted “interesting day so far…hmm…at least i am boxing 2-a-days this week.” Maybe Jennifer Aniston can spar with you, Jess?

Did You Hear?

:: Nick Jonas sang Billy Joel’s part in the rerecording of “We Are The World.” Next thing you’ll know, he’ll be touring with Elton John and crashing his car into a tree. [Ocean Up]

:: There have been some memorable commercial jingles throughout TV ad history (Folger’s “Best Part of Waking Up,” and Almond Joy’s “Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut” spring to mind). Here is the absolute worst. [Best Week Ever]

:: Check out Taylor Swift’s line of American Greetings cards. Is there one that reads, “Sorry you sang out of tune at the Grammys—hey, there’s always the Kids’ Choice Awards!” [MTV]

:: There’s a faux-Glee romance happening over at Twitter, with two users posing as Matthew Morrison and Jayma Mays. This is what happens when the show is on hiatus—fans have to create the cornball drama themselves. [Vulture]

:: SNL alum Molly Shannon books a recurring guest spot on Glee as a pill-popping, alcoholic astronomy teacher. Attention, writers: more of this and less of the pregnancy plot in Season 2, please! [Just Jared]

After the jump: we mourn the loss of John Mayer’s innocence.

VIDEO REWIND OF THE DAY: John Mayer has become the target of a lot of (entirely deserved) criticism for the blunt (and racially insensitive) remarks he’s made in interviews with Rolling Stone and Playboy. But we still remember when Mayer was just a lanky cuddlepuss you (thought you) could bring home to mama, like the Mayer on display in the video for the sweetly lascivious 2005 hit “Your Body Is A Wonderland.” In the vid, he serenades his young ladyfriend like a gentleman, but we’re guessing that if he were to shoot the video today, we’d see a good deal more pelvic thrusting and self-pity.

Have a great day, everyone!