Lady Gaga announced all the way back in November that “Telephone,” the dance anthem featuring device-centric duet partner Beyoncé, would be the next single off The Fame Monster. It’s been four grueling months since then, and we’ve filled our humdrum lives as best we could: we obsessed over all the photos. We listened to the covers. And we watched the live performances. Now, ladies and gentlemen, the time has come. Superglue your iPhone to your head, use two Blackberries as pasties and wrap a phone chord around your waist — and take in the retina-frying nine-minute(!) spectacle that is “Telephone”.
Lady Gaga feat. Beyoncé – “Telephone”
Directed by Swedish whiz Jonas Akerlund (the fabulous “Paparazzi”), the video picks up where “Paparazzi” left off, with Gaga entering a Los Angeles prison to serve time for her crimes. What follows is hyper-stylized whirlwind of lust, death, and product placement. With roughly 47 costume changes.
“What I like about it is it’s a real true pop event,” Ms. Germanotta told Seacrest back in February. “When I was younger I was always excited when there was a big giant event happening in pop music and that’s what I wanted this to be.”
As Gaga’s tour openers (and “Telephone” cameo band) Semi-Precious Weapons tipped to MTV, the video carries a whiff of Quentin Tarantino, and not just because he rented Gaga and Beyonce the Kill Bill Pussy Wagon to use as transportation. Akerlund’s new epic (just 90 seconds longer than “Paparazzi”) constantly recalls Tarantino’s unique talent to mix graphic violence with classic one-liners. The instant-hit quote trending on Twitter? “Once you kill the cow, you’ve got to make a burger.”
The over-the-top video is explicit in every sense of the word — violent, colorful, slightly disturbing, and it even includes some barely-censored nudity. In a nutshell, it’s bizarre.
What do you think of “Telephone”? Too long? Not worth the hype? Or is it absolutely perfect the way it is? If nothing else, between Gaga’s cheetah-print jumpsuit, translucent chef uniform, skimpy Americana get-up, and about a billion more wardrobe changes, there’s about twelve different Halloween costumes to choose from!