In “My Chick Bad”, the smash from Ludacris’ new Battle Of The Sexes LP, Luda spends a lot of time trumpeting his lady’s talents. The oft-repeated (and difficult to resist) hook: “My chick bad / My chick hood / My chick do stuff that yo’ chick wish she could”. We couldn’t help but wonder: just what kinds of things is this chick capable of? We did our homework (and squeezed info out of Nicki Minaj’s pet monkey Oscar) in a desperate effort to figure it all out. Now, we proudly present our findings: the 10 Things Ludacris’ Chick Does That Your Chick Wishes She Could Do. Go on — tell us that the chick who could tackle all the tasks in this list isn’t bad enough for Ludacris. We dare you.
She never gets “nexted” on Chatroulette.
She faithfully observes National Women’s History Month and March Madness with equal amounts of fervor.
She has mastered the art of the perfect TIVO/DVR commercial fast forward.
She looks good in every picture she’s tagged in on Facebook. EVERY picture.
She always has the correct answer to every Trivial Pursuit wedge piece question.
Compete in the Boston Marathon without training.
She knows how to make the perfect souffle.
She looks great in her driver’s license pic.
She can make a basket from half-court.
She can be dressed and ready to go in 10 minutes flat.