IDOLATOR’S TOP 5 DRAMATIC READINGS OF POP SONGS
#5 – Justin Bieber’s “Baby”, as dramatically read by James Earl Jones.
Darth Vader saying lines like “Are we an item? Girl, quit playin’” in his best Maya Angelou impression? We’re sold.
#4 – Rihanna’s “Umbrella”, as dramatically read by William Shatner
Okay, so this is almost four years too late to be relevant, and yet Bill Shatner was on Conan this past Monday giving a dramatic reading of Rihanna’s 2007 hit. Still, saying “Umbrella-ella-ella” without any music would make us giggle even if it wasn’t Captain Kirk.
#3 – The Beatles’ “A Hard Day’s Night”, as dramatically read by Peter Sellers
The 60s-era movie star turns The Beatles’ pop ditty into a classical monologue.
#2 – Ke$ha’s “TiK ToK”, as dramatically read (and analyzed) by Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Paul Muldoon
While reciting various passages of Ms. K-Dolla’s ubiquitous tune, Muldoon compares Ke$ha’s lyrics to King Lear, and interprets the message of the song to be about a boat in China. Really.
#1 – Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face”, as dramatically read by Jude Law
This may as well be a soliloquy from The Cherry Orchard. Jude makes Gaga’s incoherent muffin-bluffin’ sound like pure poetry. Jude could recite the alphabet and we’d melt into a pool of absolute bliss.