Chris Brown Rumors Include Awful Pick-Up Lines & Attending Rihanna’s Birthday Party

There are so many Chris Brown stories going around the web today, we’re not sure what to believe. Did Breezy not only attend Rihanna’s 24th birthday party, did he spend the evening holding hands with her? And did he actually make people sign a confidentiality agreement so that his appearance wouldn’t be leaked to the media? (If so — oops.) Or was he too busy picking up other women with absolutely terrible pick-up lines? And are these two collaborating on a track?

At a pre-Grammy gift suite on Friday February 10, Brown reportedly approached a woman and asked, “Can I get your number? I promise I won’t beat you!” The woman in question was so disgusted, she immediately went to Us Weekly to share the story. “He and his friends laughed, then one yelled, ‘That’s his new line!’ Ugh! I wanted to throw up!”

Though Brown’s reps could not confirm or deny this new entrant into the terrible pick-up line Hall Of Fame, they responded by saying, “I’d be surprised if Chris said something that stupid.” Because that would be so out of character for him.

UPDATE: Brown issued a statement denying the story. “That is absurd and absolutely not true. I did not say that nor would I joke about that”, he told TMZ. (Guess the trending topic “#chrisbrownpickuplines” is all for moot then?)

Meanwhile, other reports indicate that Brown is solely interested in reuniting with Rihanna. The R&B singer-rapper attended the pop star’s birthday party on Monday February 13, which took place at Hearst Mansion in Beverly Hills, and allegedly forced all partygoers to sign a confidentiality agreement stipulating that they wouldn’t discuss his presence at the bash. Not everyone signed it, which is why we have TMZ reporting insider info, including the account of RiRi and Brown “sitting next to each other, talking, and holding hands” throughout the party.

(For those who choose to doubt the intimacy of their behavior, there’s also the fact that Chris is currently dating a woman named Karrueche Tran, who he honored by getting her face tattooed on his arm only last month.)

Perhaps the duo, who dated for several years before splitting in 2009 after Brown assaulted her in a car, have grown closer for a collaboration? MTV reports that Rihanna’s Talk That Talk track “Birthday Cake” (which exists for all of 78 seconds on the album) is scheduled to get a full-length version with a guest cameo that “is gonna shock the world.” Can you think of a more shocking collaboration than these two? If this is true, we certainly predict this alienating a great deal of Rihanna’s fans who have no respect for Brown since the attack. (Ditto that for the members of Team Breezy who aren’t too fond of Rihanna.)

What can we believe? Pretty much the one thing that is inarguable is the amazingness of Rihanna’s birthday cake, made up to look as though RiRi is riding bareback on a giant spliff:

rihanna birthday cake

Please tell us this is foreshadowing of the concept for her “Birthday Cake” video.