“Long before Amy was an addict, no one could tell her what to do,” Mitch Winehouse writes. “Once she became an addict, her stubbornness just got worse. There were times when she wanted to be clean, but the times when she didn’t outnumbered them.”
After her divorce from Blake Fielder-Civil in 2009, it was believed that Amy hated performing the songs on her Grammy-winning album Black To Black, as most of the songs on the album were written about her ex-husband. She would make herself drink heavily before shows to get through her performances.
Mitch writes that he, too, has a hard time listening to the songs on Back To Black, as he realized that all the songs are about her tumultuous relationship with Fielder-Civil. He writes that he could never understand what his daughter saw in him. “It wasn’t as if he brought much good into her life, or so it seemed to me,” he writes.
He also reveals that Amy suffered stage fright, and often considered surgery on her nose. She had gotten breast implants over a year before her death in July 2011. His biggest fear for her, though, was her dependency on alcohol, and he believed “her illness might end up killing us both.”