We’ve already heard Fiona Apple‘s onstage response to her marijuana arrest in Texas, but we’ll refresh your memory with some highlights: she said she wrote down the details of the “inappropriate and probably illegal” things the cops did to her, then tore up the paper but not before encoding it and putting it in two lock boxes. She threatened to make the policemen “fucking famous” by releasing the information to the public in the future.
Now the sheriff’s department has penned a response to her response which starts off with the acerbic “First, Honey, I’m already more famous than you, I don’t need your help” and ends with the even more acerbic “just shut-up and sing.” Read on for the full letter.
The statement continued:
Two weeks ago nobody in the country cared about what you had to say, — now that you’ve been arrested it appears your entire career has been jump-started. Don’t worry Sweetie, I won’t bill you…”
While we appreciate some good snarking, the career jump-start was in full swing thanks to her great Idler Wheel.. album. But yes, this has put her in the headlines, is the point.
Next, have you ever heard of Snoop, Willie or Armand Hammer? Maybe if you would read something besides your own press releases, you would have known BEFORE you got here, that if you come to Texas with dope, the cops will take your DOPE away and put YOU in jail…
Even though you and I only met briefly in the hallway, I don’t know you but I’m sure you’re an awesome and talented young woman and even though I’m not a fan of yours, I am sure there are thousands of them out there, and I’m sure that they would just as soon you get this all behind you and let you go back to what you do best—so my last piece of advice is simple ‘just shut-up and sing.’
Ouch! Guess you could say Rusty really took a bite out of Apple. (What, you’d rather have another “Criminal” joke?) Or maybe he’s just a Dixie Chicks fan. If you recall, “shut up and sing” was the exact phrase a Texan hurled at lead singer Natalie Maines following the group’s 2003 statement, “We do not want this war, this violence, and we’re ashamed that the President of the United States [George W. Bush] is from Texas.” The phrase would later become a lyric in the band’s “Not Ready To Make Nice” and the title of their 2006 documentary Dixie Chicks: Shut Up And Sing.