1. She’s not dating, you guys… According to Rihanna, it’s been “forever” since she was on a date. “Like two years,” she said. “Haven’t gone to the movies, to dinner. Zero.” That doesn’t mean she wouldn’t like to, though — it’s just that, as she explains, “I have too many vaginas around me at this point.”
2. …But if you want to date her, good luck having enough cajones. She claims to not be turning down invitations, because in fact, nobody ever asks her out. “Trust me on that. I’m waiting for the man who’s ballsy enough to deal with me. I’m going to wait, though. You always find the wrong shit when you go looking.”
3. She says there’s more to the Chris Brown story than just “Birthday Cake.” “To the world, I feel like there’s no closure,” she told the magazine. “There’s some obsession that’s continued even throughout when we weren’t friends or couldn’t be friends at all. Hated each other. The world hasn’t let go. They haven’t seen any progress in our friendship, because they don’t see anything, really, besides the song.”
4. …But that doesn’t mean Chris Brown and Drake‘s brawl had anything to do with her. “I wasn’t even there,” she said simply. “It had nothing to do with me.”
5. Despite her very obvious fondness for marijuana, she steers clear of the hard stuff… When media outlets claimed that she was partying up a storm at Coachella, she was quick to shut the rumors down. “They knew it was marijuana,” she said. “It was completely clear to them. I just thought it was uncalled for. I don’t do cocaine. I don’t like being associated with anything that’s untrue.”
6. …But if you look like you’re on drugs, she’ll call you out. When the interviewer and Rihanna’s entourage were standing backstage watching the VMAs, she popped her head back in to ask, “Why y’all look like you’re high on mushrooms?” (This begs the question: Why haven’t we seen a #phuckyomushrooms tweet yet?)
7. It’s not easy being Ri. Running on empty after the VMAs, on a private jet en route to London, she explains, “I’m in a positive space, but I do have my days. Everybody has their days.” Preach it, girl.