The Voice results show: It’s three minutes of information surrounded by 57 minutes of commercials and filler entertainment — and yet we love it just the same. Even if there is a drawn-out wait before announcing the 10 contestants who will move on from the Top 12, the performances — by guest Jason Aldean as well as coaches Christina Aguilera, Blake Shelton and Cee Lo — serve as a welcome distraction from Carson Daly‘s time in the spotlight. It’s an unnecessarily protracted Top 10 episode-turned-variety show, y’all — let’s talk about it.
Christina’s performance kicks off the show: She sings “Make the World Move” from her new album Lotus, which bloomed November 9. Cee Lo joins in, adding a scepter to his typical ensemble of coaching jammies, and overseeing Xtina’s performance from the balcony like a weirdo. By the time the two have returned to their giant red chairs, Cee Lo has donned the most normal striped polo we’ve ever seen him wear — which is even more bizarre than Christina continuing to wear the purple Afro wig and plastic tara from her costume for the duration of the show. Onwards!
Jason Aldean joins Team Christina member Dez Duron (he’s so handsome) and Team Adam’s fedorable Bryan Keith to perform “The Only Way I Know.” It does feel phoned-in, on all accounts, but — in fairness — the votes have already been tallied, and Jason Aldean’s already got Country Music Awards on his mantle. Kanye shrug.
Thankfully, we can also count on Cee Lo to bring campy realness, and that’s exactly what he did with his team’s performance of The Bee Gees’ “Stayin’ Alive.” Nicolas David straightens his hair to stay on theme! Cee Lo and Trevin Hunte sport a two-for-one-wig deal for the occasion! Cody Belew catches the eyes of Saturday Night Fever regional casting agents everywhere with his shoulder-shimmying enthusiasm! The performance just radiates a one-of-a-kind weirdness that’s the reason we tune into these results shows.
Blake and his team perform “Life Is a Highway” by Tom Cochrane. It’s fun, but unsurprisingly, Michaela Paige, Cassadee Pope and Terry McDermott don’t going to have a problem nailing a song that most of us can handle just fine at karaoke. It’s low-stakes stuff.
For the most part, the results aren’t that mind-blowing — what, you thought Terry McDermott was going to be sent home? — but surely we’ll moan about the surprises until next week.
Who made the cut: Sylvia Yacoub and Dez Duron (did we mention how handsome he is?) from Team Christina; Nicolas David, Trevin Hunte, and Cody Belew from Team Cee Lo; Amanda Brown (sigh of relief — but she better step it up next week!), Bryan Keith (along with his goofy fedora), and Melanie Martinez from Team Adam; and Terry McDermott and Cassadee Pope from Team Blake.
That means that Adrianna Louise from Team Christina and Michaela Paige from Team Blake were eliminated — and really? Michaela instead of Melanie? If you’re going to eliminate a two-toned hairdo, go with Melanie. Still, in true The Voice delusional fashion, both Christina and Blake are convinced it’s not the end of the road for their artists, who tearfully thank their coaches and head back to obscurity. (Seriously: Without looking it up, do you remember contestants 11 and 12 from Seasons 1 or 2 of The Voice?)
One notable moment from the winner announcements: Cody Belew cracks a joke at Christina that she doesn’t get (“She had her eyes shut for most of the competition”) and now has a sworn enemy for life. If looks could kill, there would have been one less contestant in the Top 10. If you need us at any point during the next week, we’ll be watching that nemesis-turning moment on loop.