Britney Spears Confirms Las Vegas Residency Via Her Dog’s Twitter Account, Like Any Normal Person
We all have many questions about Britney Spears’ potential Las Vegas residency: Where will it be? Will she sing? Will she dance? Will it be “extraordinary,” “groundbreaking,” “free of flaws” or all of the above? When should we start looking for real estate in the greater Las Vegas area?
But in true Britney fashion, all of those questions remain unanswered — and yet one thing’s for sure: It’s definitely happening, according to Spears’ new publicist, her dog Hannah Spears, via Spears herself on Twitter. (That is, a team of social media experts who manage Spears’ public image and are compensated handsomely to preserve some vestigial sense of “fun” in the increasingly joyless Britney-industrial complex, even though Spears herself definitely doesn’t have a phone or a computer and probably has no idea what Twitter is.)
Mommy, are dogs allowed to gamble in vegas? Gonna cash all my bones in for chips
— Hannah Spears (@hannahspears) February 4, 2013
Then, Britney Spears retweeted her dog. (“Britney Spears retweeted her dog” is definitely the weirdest sentence we’ll write today.)
— Britney Spears (@britneyspears) February 4, 2013
No additional details on the Vegas stint as of yet, but Spears’ goldfish confirmed in an official statement that more news will be coming soon.