Donald Trump, who runs a pageant that assigns numerical scores to women based on how they look in a bikini, criticized Beyonce‘s Super Bowl Halftime Show for being inappropriate when he called into the Howard Stern Show earlier this week. At first, we assumed he meant that such a grandiose event had an inappropriate dearth of gold-lacquered columns. But no! He said Bey’s fierce dancing was the offending factor.
“When Beyonce was thrusting her hips forward in a very suggestive manner…if someone else would have done that it would have been a national scandal,” he told Stern. We hate to admit this, but Trump’s right. Someone else did do it, and it was a national scandal — almost sixty years ago! “I thought it was ridiculous…I thought it was not appropriate,” he added, before crawling back into his Blast from the Past bunker.
However, there is evidence that the Donald has become self-aware (is that a good or a bad thing?). Pointing out that literally nobody else thought the performance was inappropriate, Trump ultimately decided, “It must not have been so bad. She gets a pass.”