Walking train wreck, former child star and current Kiely Williams impersonator Amanda Bynes has been on a pretty major self-destructive spiral into madness, hasn’t she? It’s the kind that’s absolutely riveting to watch, even as it fills the observer with the idle discomfort that arises when we don’t know whether it’s going to turn out like Britney Spears (redemption!) or Amy Winehouse (tragedy!) or Lindsay Lohan (neither!), where we think, “Oh, here’s a talented person who’s clearly suffering from a serious mental illness, but the spectacle is so funny that it’s hard not to laugh at, even though a time will probably come when we’ll feel terrible for having been so cruel to her.” Ah, well.
Anyway, celebrity news isn’t really our beat here, but music news is (which means now we get to talk about Amanda Bynes, hey!) and last night, Bynes amped up the insanity with a disturbing and provocative tweet to Drake, in which she asked him to murder her vagina. Yep! That’s what she said. Behold:
I want @drake to murder my vagina
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) March 22, 2013
And then the seas dried up and the stars dropped out of the sky and the Internet melted into a hot tsunami of semiconductors and telephone wire and it was the end of the world, the end of everything. The End. Bye forever.
But no, okay, really. Of course this is hysterical, and also horrifying, and the sort of thing that we can’t not talk about, but also, maybe, let’s try and be compassionate to poor Amanda Bynes, the oddest celebrity curiosity who ever lived. She’s going through a rough patch! And if she wants Drake to murder her vagina, well — sure, it’s a little explicit, and also gruesome, but who are we to judge? After all, it’s what a girl wants.