Justin Bieber Is The Saddest, Only Has Four Friends (Five If You Count The Monkey)

Justin Bieber‘s “meltdown” has now reached that critical point where the funny starts to morph into the sad. The superstar told the UK’s Mirror that he only has four friends. (Compare that to Taylor Swift, who said she has “like, 15 best friends.” Quit being such a friend-hog, Taylor!) “Literally my phone never rings, I only have like four people that I keep in contact with,” Justin said, probably while his not-vibrating phone sat idly on the end table as he clutched a mug of tea and lost his train of thought, staring wistfully into the drink, wondering why such warmth transfers from the tea to his hands so easily and yet he cannot find the same warmth from the people around him.

“I get good vibes from people all the time, and I probably could get along with them and be their friend,” he continued, “but now I just don’t trust anybody.” It’s as though everybody’s got something to hide, except for Biebs and his monkey.

Meanwhile, Selena Gomez is doing just fine!

[via Entertainmentwise]