Ke$ha’s “Crazy Kids” Gets Remixed With Pitbull, This Is All Getting Really Depressing

Alright, kids. Gather round. It’s time to have a serious talk about Ke$ha.

We love Ke$ha. We support Ke$ha. She’s talented and exciting and funny and her music has moments of extraordinary genius, as thrilling as anything in the pop landscape. And it’s been a rough few months for Ke$ha! She released a song called “Die Young” and as it was climbing the charts, a lot of kids died. She suggested that she never wanted to sing that song anyway. Her album underperformed, peaking at #6. The follow-up single, “C’Mon,” topped out at #27 on the Hot 100, ending her string of consecutive Top 10 hits. And now, “Crazy Kids” — her new single — has a guest spot from execrable club-rap monster, which is rough on its own — the indignity of that has to sting. But it gets worse: Now they’ve gone and thrown Pitbull onto the track, too. “Crazy Kids,” with Pitbull. These are dark days we’re in, folks. Dark days.

Now, there’s a precedent to this Ke$ha and Pitbull teamplay — before Ke$ha was a star, she appeared on his 2009 album track “Girls,” and they’re slated to head out on tour together (which is depressing in the first place). But we always had the sense that even though there’s a certain cynicism to the Ke$ha empire, all of that jubilant no-fucks-given party-girl posturing as calculated a brand as her more buttoned-up contemporaries, there was still something playful about it, right? Something genuine and authentic and charming. None of those are words that can be used to describe Pitbull. Pitbull is the assistant headmaster of the & RedFoo Academy of Soulless Radio Garbage (where Flo Rida is a tortured-but-prodigious janitor, like in Good Will Hunting), an artist who believes that the only way to make music that’s euphoric and celebratory is to churn it out on an assembly-line, all those identical bleeps and bloops and the same depressing lyrics about poppin’ bottles in the clurb, as manipulative and inane as sonically possible.

But Ke$ha isn’t like that. Ke$ha has heart. She’s an artist, even if it’s buried under slick Dr. Luke production and pop-star styling.

Pitbull is not an artist. He’s a brand, a commodity, a predatory pair of mirrored aviator sunglasses who happens to rap, a stuffed package in a pair of white trousers (c’mon, Pit, nobody’s buying it), relentlessly focus-grouped to appeal to specific demographics, one $1.29 sale at a time.

That’s why when RCA, or her publisher, or her management, or whoever is in charge (it’s certainly not Ke$ha), ropes in Pitbull or or any other abysmal rent-a-rapper to do a guest spot on Ke$ha’s new single, because she needs a radio hit and the performance of “C’Mon” wasn’t good enough, it feels sad and cheap and desperate and disheartening, and her fans get upset, and the song is worse for it, and “urban listeners” still doesn’t give any more or less of a shit than they would otherwise, and radio programmers aren’t fooled. They aren’t! A verse from a commercially viable rapper does not an urban single make. Nobody is that dumb. It’s just alienating her core fan base, pushing away the fanatical kids and fanatical gays who have buoyed her to success, and whenever this happens, everyone who loves Ke$ha just emits this colossal groan of despair. Maybe Ke$ha’s already had her moment; maybe it’s over for her. But if she’s going to fail (and hopefully she won’t!) at least let her fail with some dignity.

So we submit, to the pop gods and label executives and everyone who’s in charge: Please, please, please stop putting these no-talent goons like and Pitbull on great singles from great artists like Ke$ha. It’s bumming us out.

Also, Pitbull’s verse sucks.

Listen below.

  • Jay Pitbull. Who’s next Flo Rida?

    She was able to get talented rappers on her “Sleazy 2.0″ Remix….what happened? I know her popularity may have taken a hit a little once her album was released, but “Die Young” was a huge hit and “C’Mon” was still a Top 40 hit. She deserves better than this. It’s bad enough she has to tour with Pitbull.

  • Joanne

    Why can’t RCA just release Last Goodbye or even Only Wanna Dance With You? Both can easily smash on their own without any help from annoying rappers. RCA obviously has no faith in Crazy Kids as a single, so why bother releasing it?

  • jamison

    i agree with this 100%. i mean, C’MON! has gotten out of control with his insipidness, and seriously, how does pitbull have a major label record deal? ask anyone on the street if they like pitbull and the answer will be a resounding no. poor kesha, she don’t deserve this travesty

  • David Mills

    Rapping about mustard and ketchup. Genius.

  • Maria Koleva

    “Pitbull is the assistant headmaster of the & RedFoo Academy of Soulless Radio Garbage (where Flo Rida is a tortured-but-prodigious janitor, like in Good Will Hunting)” Pure gold

  • MusicManDave

    Why do they have to speed up the production?? Personally, I like the original album version with just herh.

    • Sam

      I don’t think it’s sped up in the real version. I think it’s sped up on this video to avoid YouTube copyright infringement detection or whatever.

  • Sam

    I’d rather have the Pitbull version than the version. The version is just a travesty. I mean, they’re both terrible and I wish they wouldn’t put either one on the track, but Pitbull, for all his flaws, is at least charismatic. Will is just such a non-entity and his lines are beyond vapid. Not to mention it’s not like Will exactly has much star power that will sell this track like Kanye did for Katy Perry’s “E.T.” Will’s new album is on track to sell 25k copies in its first week, which is incredibly pitiful. So I’m doubtful this will even help at all.

    But anyway, both K$’s single sales and her album sales have been lacking and this song (the album version) isn’t a huge banger guaranteed to be successful like “Tik Tok” and “We R Who We R” were, so it’s pretty obvious why her management did it.

  • Angel

    Will this is far better than the will i am tragedy.

  • Rey Ahmed

    Oh GOD NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Juan Parker III

    To those who put Pitbull on the same level as Will.I.Am. Stop smoking! Pitbull makes any pop/dance song 10x better. Has way more fans that Will.I.Am, and heck even Kesha around the world. And gets women! Not a bad lifestyle to me. Boss.