R&B’s favorite Snidely Whiplash impersonator and generally upsetting person Chris Brown
took to Twitter last night to announce the release date of his upcoming album X,
which hits retailers July 16. This is great news for Team Breezy, but not-so-great news for those of us who just don’t have the constitution for another round of endless promotional appearances characterized by empty contrition and mediocre music, the jaw-dropping circus of watching putatively intelligent and principled journalists congratulating him for not being a complete monster as he tweets smoke-hazy Instagrams with Rihanna
that fill us with a queasy, portentous dread. Can’t wait.
The “Fine China” crooner also shared the link to a new track just for fans, tweeting, “Some shit I felt like writing that’s not on the album.” Sure!
That song is a clattering midtempo about a troubled relationship titled “I Can’t Win,” which is one of those awesomely self-pitying Chris Brown song titles like “Changed Man” that really just says it all. (Upcoming song titles include “Feel Sorry For Me” and “I Am Very Grounded & Humble Now, Fuck Haters.”)
Listen to the new song below.
[via MTV News]
This is all just the worst, right? Isn’t it? Okay, great. Just checking. Sound off in the comments, then let us know what you think on Facebook and Twitter.