Well, this is frustrating! It’s frustrating because it’s new Robyn
music, and that’s all any of us (I’m speaking for all people in the world with a passing interest in pop music) really want out of life; but this isn’t the new Robyn music I wanted! This is a crystalline, YOLO-riffic Robyn hook that comes by way of a new single from The Lonely Island
, and I know it should be funny but I just — sigh — I can’t. I can’t with it. Robyn’s supposed to be the synth-spangled Scandinavian melancholy of “Dancing On My Own” and “Hang With Me,” or maybe the self-conscious wit of “Konichiwa Bitches” and “Criminal Intent,” and even at her most scabrous — like her cover of “Jack U Off” — it’s still so adorably twee. There’s a difference between that and the comedy rap of these bros, on display in “Go Kindergarten.” This one’s just a bummer.
Because, well, it’s The Lonely Island, who can be funny sometimes, but this probably isn’t their finest moment — the hashtags in the video are cute, but the point at which they start yelling, “Ladies, whip your dick out!” is the point at which my patience begins to dwindle, and it all just feels exhausting. Can I get a Robyn-only version of this, please? I don’t care if the lyrics are dumb. Just no more puerile, putatively lol-inducing rapping for me.
Watch up top and feel free to tell me in the comments below if I’m being a total party pooper.