Great news for people who love being frustrated, disappointed and enraged by their favorite recording artist! A new kernel of information has been poached, cajoled or somehow otherwise eked out of this whole ghastly mess of a Beyonce album campaign that’s been slowly limping forward for the last six months, as one false start inevitably leads to another and she continues to torment her fans (in a way that’s beginning, sincerely, to feel mean-spirited) with the promise of new music that ultimately turns out to be some soda commercial or a letter of sisterly support to Kelly Rowland.
I mean, really, Beyonce. Stop doing that. Just give us an actual single. What a jaw-dropping embarrassment this is! 2013 was supposed to be the year of Beyonce. Instead, I spend my Friday nights listening to tracks on LeToya Luckett‘s old MySpace page.
So! The latest morsel of Beyonce info that her fans are clinging to — some sad last bastion of hope that things might actually turn around now, a lighthouse illuminating the unspeakable darkness of this Beyonce drought — is a report via a Beyonce fan site (Vanity Fair must have just missed the scoop) that her H&M jingle “Standing On The Sun” has been sent to radio (!) alongside a final version of “Grown Woman” (!!) which apparently sounds different to the leaked version (!!!). There’s even a snippet of “Standing On The Sun,” to which you can listen. You just can’t buy it on iTunes, because Beyonce hates you and wants you to suffer.
Beyonce — ”Standing On The Sun” (Snippet)
So, cool. Okay, great. This sounds good. This sounds like a song I’d enjoy hearing on the radio. It even sounds like something I’d like to buy on iTunes, or another digital retailer of my choosing. Is that going to happen, though? Does she want to make some sort of announcement about it? Maybe a proper radio premiere? Some other kind of partnership to promote the full song? Or are we going to continue to let fan sites do the digging up of dirt, stealing promotional CDs, disseminating of information, hacking into Sia‘s email or whatever else it is they’re doing to pull this shit off?
Beyonce: This is not how it’s supposed to work. Everyone is frustrated. Stop it.
I’m not trying to be melodramatic, but you have maybe one week left to release a new single before your fans start literally rioting in the streets. A week if you’re lucky. I’m talking about some broken-hearted-girls and if-I-were-a-boys getting buckwild and rowdy and going on a crime spree through downtown Houston. I’m talking about a revolution.
It’s not too late to turn this around. Get it together. Release a proper single.