As the proud leader of the internet’s rowdiest fan army, it goes without saying that Beyonce is adept at throwing shade. In fact, any diva worth her wig can cut a bitch with a simple glance. (Watch Mariah Carey on American Idol for a master class in the art). Bey has historically kept a lid on her shade-throwing ability to save the rest of the game from serious injury but the intense media scrutiny of recent years has unleashed the beast. And none of us were ready. See King B’s 10 shadiest moments after the jump.
1. When Beyonce crushed Keyshia Cole’s soul live on stage
R&B diva Keyshia Cole broke the cardinal rule of publicly dissing Beyonce and immediately invoked Bey’s career-ending curse as proven by the sales of Woman To Woman. But the worst was yet to come. Keyshia, obviously a glutton for punishment, apparently went to see The Mrs. Carter Show in New Orleans. Watch above to see what happened when Bey spotted her in the front row.
2. When Beyonce released “Bow Down”
“Bow Down” is the musical equivalent of one of Beyonce’s famous hand-written notes addressed to every diva in the game, reminding them of their place beneath her on the pop ladder. “I know when you were little girls you dreamt of being in my world,” she sings sweetly before being possessed by Third Ward Trill and exclaiming: “Don’t forget it, don’t forget it. Respect that, bow down bitches!”
3. When Beyonce made Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams her back-up singers at Super Bowl
The much-anticipated reunion of Destiny’s Child was the arguably the highlight of Beyonce’s bar-raising Super Bowl triumph. Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams turned it out on stage, dancing up a storm while singing a medley of hits before King B relegated them to back-up singer status for a fun rendition of “Single Ladies”. You can bet their therapy bills skyrocketed.
4. When Beyonce literally snatched Shakira’s wig
Since teaming up with Colombian goddess Shakira for the era-defining “Beautiful Liar”, Queen B’s hair moved through the entire color spectrum until she settled on dirty blond. Then Mrs. Carter’s usually flawless weave started to look slightly tussled before graduating to full blown bed-hair. It’s your move Shakira!
5. When Beyonce shaded the wind machine that snatched her wig
20,000 Canadians looked on in horror last week as Bey’s holy lacefront got tangled in a fan while she belted out “Halo”. The diva sang on valiantly while security guards and fans tried to free her and then jumped on Instagram to re-write the iconic ballad with new lyrics like “I felt my hair was yankiiiiiiiin from the fan that’s always hatiiiiiiiin”. Beyonce is so petty. She couldn’t let the wind machine have its moment.
6. When Beyonce told the Hive to be patient
With speculation about the whereabouts of Sasha Fierce’s new album reaching fever pitch (we finally got word yesterday that it’s not expected to drop until 2014) and the Hive on the brink of civil war, Beyonce took out her damn pen and scrawled: “Genius is nothing but a great capacity for patience.” That’s Beyonce’s way of telling us all to take a seat and chill out. Message received loud and clear, my Queen.
7. When Beyonce told an inattentive fan to “put the damn camera down”
When Beysus blesses you with her glorious presence, you better pay attention! One fan learned this the hard way during the “Irreplaceable” sing-a-long at a recent concert in Atlanta. “You can’t even sing because you’re too busy taping,” B lectured the inattentive concertgoer. “I’m right in your face baby, you gotta seize this moment baby!” Naturally the crowd burst into applause and laughter because that is some boss shit right there.
8. When Beyonce shaded Walmart by shopping at Target
Walmart is wondering what it ever did to incur Beyonce’s wrath. The R&B icon changed the retail game forever when she popped into Target to pick up some goodies for Blue Ivy while on tour in Houston. The Hive instantly declared Target the best discount retailer and read its competitors to filth online.
9. When Beyonce sunk Rihanna’s Navy with one sentence
When Complex magazine asked King B about her rivalry with Rihanna, she left the usual platitudes at home. Instead, she casually said: “I have an authentic, God-given talent, drive, and longevity that will always separate me from everyone else.” Let that sink in for a minute. So RiRi is a fake, untalented and lazy flash-in-the-pan? The Navy is still reeling and that interview was published in 2011.
10. When Beyonce wrote Michelle Williams this note
After holy-twerker Michelle Williams finished her run in a theater production of Fela, Bey decided to drop her a note with the following message: “You embody the strength and boldness of women who are not afraid to just be.” Was this a subtle dig at Michelle’s current employment status or just a cryptic compliment? I’m going with the latter because everyone knows B loves her some Michelle.
What was Beyonce’s shadiest moment? Let us know in the comments below.