The 10 Stages Of Breakup Grieving, As Told By Britney Spears

Jordan Miller | September 2, 2013 6:00 am

Stage 2: The Blackout Era

4. Telephone

Producer: Rodney Jerkins Time to get a little messy. This time you’ve got your friends to back you up and take you out. Nothing a little vodka can’t take care of. And if he tries to call you? Don’t answer, you’re kind of busy. Now, party your face off! “Hello, baby, you called I can’t hear a thing I have got no service in the club you see What did you say? Huh? You’re breaking up on me Sorry, I cannot hear you I’m kinda busy”

5. Dramatic

Album: Unreleased Producers: Unknown Now you’re just bitter. And hungover. It’s ok! Embrace it; hate him all you want! Hate the cologne his mom gave him, hate his XBOX, roommates, friends and his general demeanor. Good riddance! Now, back to texting your rebound… Choice Quote: “No, no, no, no, you’re not the one I thought you were Now there’s another ringing my bell I’m under his spell You’re too dramatic Understand it’s over”

6. Lonely

Album: Britney Producers: Rodney Jerkins In between the nightclubs, bar crawls and junk food consumption are something called weekdays. This is the time to clear your head from what the hell you’re running from and realize that you’re better off without him — and you know it. Take off those rose colored glasses for good. (And maybe lay off the vodka cranberry. Seriously.) Choice Quote: “I think of all the time that I wasted Think of all the times that I took you back Ain’t no way I’ll be lonely I don’t wanna let you back in”