Pop Perspective: Fergie’s “M.I.L.F. $” Rated & Reviewed

At Idolator, the editors share a passion for high-quality pop. Occasionally, our tastes align. Other times, not so much. So, in the spirit of debate (and online drama), we’ve developed a recurring feature called Pop Perspective. In a nutshell, our editors dissect a particularly noteworthy pop-happening, and give it a rating out of 10.

That way you’re getting a full spectrum of views and we can all vent. (It’s cheaper than therapy!) The latest event to be dragged under the Idolator microscope is Fergie’s polarizing comeback single “M.I.L.F. $,” which arrived on iTunes last night. Does the superstar have another “Fergalicious” on her hands or has she missed the mark? Read our thoughts below.

Robbie Daw — 4/10

Let’s face it — the only club Fergie’s up in these days is Gymboree. That’s why, after a 10-year absence as a solo star, it’s a bit disappointing the BEP diva doesn’t have anything new to rap-sing about other than her “MILF shake” or being “on fleek,” over an already-dated trap beat.

Is she being ironic? Is Fergie’s tongue planted firmly in cheek? Is there hopefully material a bit more “Personal,” with some actual depth, lying in wait? Who knows. But if the public lines up for this routine after it already tanked for Madonna and Gwen Stefani in recent years – that’s not being ageist; it’s just the truth – then, hey, twerk on, Ferg.

Rachel Sonis — 4/10

One of our readers, Burk Kyler, said it best: “Umm this isn’t the worst thing… sounds a bit dated, like it would have [been] dope in like 2008.” Indeed, if this song was around during the rise of MIA’s “Paper Planes” and Flo Rida’s “Low,” it probably would’ve been a hit. But right now, this feels a little try-hard. Especially when Fergie starts making the song her own spelling bee (“I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T/ Do you know what that means?/ Can’t see me, D-O-R-K/ I’m P-A-I-D.”).

Carl Williott — 6/10

The pop-rap game has changed since the Dutchess was the queen — and this can’t hang. It’s got a killer concept (especially considering who’s gonna show up in the video), but the execution is an anonymous piece of half-baked swagger rap.

It’s not until the 90-second mark that it swerves into that Fergie featuring Fergie lane, but then it just ends. Hard to pull the “leave them wanting more” card when most of what you’re serving up is already widely available.

Mike Wass — 8/10

A song that evokes an actual response (good or bad) in the age of generic, cookie-cutter pop is cause for celebration. And from the Twitter rants and mixed reviews, it looks like Fergie has the most polarizing track of 2016 on her hands. Which will probably delight The Dutchess no end. After all, some of her biggest hits (think “My Humps” and “Boom Boom Pow”) were greeted with unbridled hostility on release. However, as much as I love the drama, I have to admit to being slightly confused by it. So I decided to address the most obnoxious criticisms head on.

1. She’s too old for the club!

Fun fact. Nightclubs don’t refuse entry to patrons over 40. Particularly when they look 26 and are responsible for some of the decade’s defining bangers. Do you really think Fergie spends her Friday nights in front of the TV?

2. Why doesn’t she have anything real to say?

I would content that sing/rapping about being a super-hot mom is borderline revolutionary in pop’s ageist vacuum. Instead of pretending to be 20, she’s embracing her status and rubbing it in the faces of wannabes half her age.

3. It’s too hip/hop.

Have these people ever listened to The Dutchess? From “London Bridge” to “Fergalicious,” Fergie pioneered the hip-hop/pop hybrid a decade ago. As such, “M.I.L.F. $” is very much on-brand.

Having said all that (sorry about the rant), “M.I.L.F. $” strikes me as more of a (killer) buzz track than a lead single. It’s bold and ballsy, but lacks the pop punch of “Glamorous” or Black Eyed Peas gems “Pump It” and “Shut Up.” Regardless, I’m glad Fergie returned with a bang instead of sheepishly dropping a polite single like other ’00s queens I could mention. Bring on Double Dutchess and miss me with the bullshit.

AVERAGE SCORE: 5.5/10

What would you rate “M.I.L.F. $” out of 10? Let us know below, or by hitting us up on Facebook and Twitter!