Christopher R. Weingarten

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No. 32: Smash Mouth, “I Wan’na Be Like You (The Monkey Song)”

Baloo would be rolling over in his grave if he heard this.

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / November 5, 2009

No. 33: Heidi Montag, “Higher”

The Hills have whys.

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / November 4, 2009

No. 36: Lady Sovereign, “Food Play”

George Costanza gets the rap song he always wanted.

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / October 30, 2009

No. 38: Say Anything, “Got Your Money”

This is the last time we’re gonna take down a rock band for mishandling a rap song, we promise.

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / October 28, 2009

No. 40: Ozzy Osbourne, Tony Iommi, and the Wu-Tang Clan, “For Heaven’s Sake 2000”

At least when Limp Bizkit made rap-metal, they had a vague understanding of what “rap” was.

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / October 26, 2009

No. 42: 3 Doors Down, “Kryptonite”

And the award for most harrowingly extended metaphor goes to……

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / October 23, 2009

No. 44: Aaron Carter, “America A O”

I think everyone remembers 9-11 the same. The shock of the first impression, the haunting images on TV, and the lingering question—“How will this all affect Aaron Carter?”…

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / October 22, 2009

No. 46: Dynamite Hack, “Boyz-N-The-Hood”

The hilarious juxtaposition of a stiff white person and—can it be?—rap music?! Happy 30th anniversary, awful joke that never ceases to make me cringe!

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / October 21, 2009

No. 48: The Moldy Peaches, “Who’s Got The Crack?”

The Moldy Peaches were somehow lumped into those “return of New York rock” puff pieces at the turn of the decade, despite the fact that they rocked about as hard as the fluid in Grandma’s goiter. The booger-eating moron brainchild of the two of the most grating people on the planet, the Moldy Peaches were…

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / October 20, 2009

No. 50: brokeNCYDE, “Bree Bree”

It’s hard to believe that New Mexico “crunkcore” crew brokeNCYDE actually exists outside of YouTube links that doughy, saddo Broken Social Scene fans with superiority complexes send to each other to convince themselves that they are smarter than a 10th grader. And it’s even harder to believe brokeNCYDE didn’t come fully formed out of the…

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / October 19, 2009

For No Reason, Here’s Some M/A/R/R/S

The best song to ever lose a Grammy to David Sanborn.

PS, everyone: I’m done at Idolator because I’m out of puns. Thanks for the memories. Someone else will have to supply you with arcane references and dick jokes now. If I had to pick my last words carefully, they would be…

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / April 21, 2009

The Rentals Unfriend P From Facebook

That band starring the guy smart enough to quit Weezer is barreling ahead with its blog-punk project, Songs About Time. If you are one of those dudes that still care what bands you pretended to listen to in high school are doing but are just catching up over here, a refresher: The Rentals are putting…

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / April 21, 2009

Why Can’t Eminem Make A Good Album Cover?

The art for Eminem’s fifth album, Relapse, leaked out today and it’s a doozy. (Note: Sometimes I misspell the word “doody,” so you might want to read that first sentence again.) It’s a mosaic of Marshall’s mug made of blue and yellow and purple pills! Kind of corny since when dude left us last he…

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / April 21, 2009

Argentinian Ad Sees Beautiful Future Via Casual Racism

Following the footsteps of Tay Zonday and Reh Dogg, Argentinian ad company Santo knows the secret to getting viral attention in the new Diggocracy: Black dudes being hilariously emo! Their new spot for Argentinian music download site Personal Musica (that’s Spanish for the French colloquialism musique personnelle) features a “gangsta” (assuredly their words, not ours)…

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / April 21, 2009

Congratulations to Dave Grohl and wife Jordyn on the birth of their second child! Daughter Harper Willow Grohl showed up sometime on Friday… but leave it to a drummer to be late in telling everyone the news. Harper is named after Dave’s great-uncle Harper Bonebrake and not the snooty magazine. We wish Dave and hi…

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / April 21, 2009

Five Reasons The Upcoming Kiss Tour Is The Stupidest Thing On Earth

Billboard reports that Kiss is routing their upcoming U.S. and Canadian tour based on what cities are demanded at event-based social networking site Eventful. Basically it’s like voting for American Idol, but the “winners” get a gaggle of lecherous old men running loose in their city! Can we seriously have anything anymore without putting it…

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / April 7, 2009

Where Were You When You Heard That Kurt Cobain Died?

This week marks the 15th anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s death in 1994. You could argue that Cobain’s suicide was a generation of late-twentysomethings and early-thirtysomethings’ version of the JFK assassination… and pretty much remained our defining cultural event until 9/11. So, we’d like to hear your stories. Share where you were, what you were doing…

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / April 7, 2009

Chris Brown’s Body Language Pleads 100% Guilty

Here’s Chris Brown in a Los Angeles courtroom…

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / April 7, 2009

We Have A Few Questions About The Nine Inch Nails iPhone App

Nine Inch Nails launched a video to promote the launch their sexy new iPhone app. All the Digglets are squealing and Wired is pissing its robot pants—and rightfully so. This thing is sweet! It has magical Google Earth powers that let you find NIN fans all around the globe to argue about which version of…

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / April 7, 2009

Marilyn Manson Is Continentally Conflicted

Trying to download the first single off Marilyn…

By: Christopher R. Weingarten / March 31, 2009

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