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No. 32: Smash Mouth, “I Wan’na Be Like You (The Monkey Song)”

smashmouth2Baloo would be rolling over in his grave if he heard this. More »

smashmouth2Baloo would be rolling over in his grave if he heard this. More »

No. 33: Heidi Montag, “Higher”

200px-heidi_montag_higher_single_cover_2008The Hills have whys. More »

200px-heidi_montag_higher_single_cover_2008The Hills have whys. More »

No. 36: Lady Sovereign, “Food Play”

lady-sovereignGeorge Costanza gets the rap song he always wanted. More »

lady-sovereignGeorge Costanza gets the rap song he always wanted. More »


No. 38: Say Anything, “Got Your Money”

maxThis is the last time we’re gonna take down a rock band for mishandling a rap song, we promise. More »

maxThis is the last time we’re gonna take down a rock band for mishandling a rap song, we promise. More »

No. 40: Ozzy Osbourne, Tony Iommi, and the Wu-Tang Clan, “For Heaven’s Sake 2000”

frontAt least when Limp Bizkit made rap-metal, they had a vague understanding of what “rap” was. More »

frontAt least when Limp Bizkit made rap-metal, they had a vague understanding of what “rap” was. More »

No. 42: 3 Doors Down, “Kryptonite”

3_doors_down_kryptoniteAnd the award for most harrowingly extended metaphor goes to… More »

3_doors_down_kryptoniteAnd the award for most harrowingly extended metaphor goes to… More »


No. 44: Aaron Carter, “America A O”

aaroncarterI think everyone remembers 9-11 the same. The shock of the first impression, the haunting images on TV, and the lingering question—“How will this all affect Aaron Carter?” More »

aaroncarterI think everyone remembers 9-11 the same. The shock of the first impression, the haunting images on TV, and the lingering question—“How will this all affect Aaron Carter?” More »

No. 46: Dynamite Hack, “Boyz-N-The-Hood”

50611646_lThe hilarious juxtaposition of a stiff white person and—can it be?—rap music?! Happy 30th anniversary, awful joke that never ceases to make me cringe! More »

50611646_lThe hilarious juxtaposition of a stiff white person and—can it be?—rap music?! Happy 30th anniversary, awful joke that never ceases to make me cringe! More »

No. 48: The Moldy Peaches, “Who’s Got The Crack?”

61bqe2vjenl_sl500_aa280_The Moldy Peaches were somehow lumped into those “return of New York rock” puff pieces at the turn of the decade, despite the fact that they rocked about as hard as the fluid in Grandma’s goiter. The booger-eating moron brainchild of the two of the most grating people on the planet, the Moldy Peaches were the equivalent of a seventh-grader from gifted class screeching “Cheese monkey!” at bullies until they were too sad and confused to give him the beating he so clearly deserved. More »

61bqe2vjenl_sl500_aa280_The Moldy Peaches were somehow lumped into those “return of New York rock” puff pieces at the turn of the decade, despite the fact that they rocked about as hard as the fluid in Grandma’s goiter. The booger-eating moron brainchild of the two of the most grating people on the planet, the Moldy Peaches were the equivalent of a seventh-grader from gifted class screeching “Cheese monkey!” at bullies until they were too sad and confused to give him the beating he so clearly deserved. More »


No. 50: brokeNCYDE, “Bree Bree”

525x470jpeg1It’s hard to believe that New Mexico “crunkcore” crew brokeNCYDE actually exists outside of YouTube links that doughy, saddo Broken Social Scene fans with superiority complexes send to each other to convince themselves that they are smarter than a 10th grader. And it’s even harder to believe brokeNCYDE didn’t come fully formed out of the bowels of MySpace as a combination of friend-stacking fashionistas and scene-kid crypto-irony, ready to convince your little sister that it’s still more fun to take pictures of a show with a cell phone than actually watch it. More »

525x470jpeg1It’s hard to believe that New Mexico “crunkcore” crew brokeNCYDE actually exists outside of YouTube links that doughy, saddo Broken Social Scene fans with superiority complexes send to each other to convince themselves that they are smarter than a 10th grader. And it’s even harder to believe brokeNCYDE didn’t come fully formed out of the bowels of MySpace as a combination of friend-stacking fashionistas and scene-kid crypto-irony, ready to convince your little sister that it’s still more fun to take pictures of a show with a cell phone than actually watch it. More »


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