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breaking

Breaking: R. Kelly Is Not Guilty

MSNBC has just reported that R. Kelly has been found not guilty on all of the 14 counts that were leveled against him in his child pornography trial. [AP]

mp3

Listening Station: Ciara And R. Kelly Keep Making Promises

So how did you celebrate R. Kelly's fortieth birthday last week? Bumping and grinding? Stepping in the name of love? Or merely sitting at home, hoping that Kelly would guest on a remix of Ciara's fantastic 2006 single "Promise"? More »

In case you missed it, R. Kelly's interview from last night has made its way online. [Straight From The A via bg5000]

R. Kelly horns in on The Dream's "Shawty Is A Ten," teaches me that the song's real title is "Shawty Is The Shit." [The Fader]

News out of Chicago: R. Kelly's trial for child pornography charges, which has been pending for five years, will begin Sept. 17. [WBBM]

The Fader has a video of R. Kelly explaining the interstellar inspiration behind Trapped In The Closet. Later that night Kelly made a mountain out of mashed potatoes and began muttering, "This means something, this is important." [The Fader]

The R. Kelly trial has officially gone from "life imitates videos" (Chuck and Rufus vs. Chuck and Keith) to "videos imitating life imitating videos" or something even more convoluted. Lisa Van Allen, the witness who claims to have had three-ways with R. Kelly and his alleged victim, can be seen braiding R. Kelly's hair in the video for "I Wish." The chorus of R. Kelly's current single? "Hairbraider, huh, I'm doin' my hairbraider! And she do my hair so good that I'm gonna tip her!" Guess you didn't tip her enough, Kells. [ONTD]

videodrone

R. Kelly: The Next Lonelygirl15?

The latest entrant into the webcam-equipped lifestyle is none other than R. Kelly, who gets off a little bit of a "Double Up" freestyle in this introduction to the imaginatively named "R. Kelly TV." He promises a "This Is My Life"-like plotline for the channel, although unlike his partner in YouTube-broadcasting Diddy, we doubt that he'll be inviting viewers to join him in the loo. More »

r kelly

The R. Kelly Empire Strikes Back

We know Kels is trying to look spiffy in this new clip for "I'm A Flirt," but those diamond-encrusted shades actually make it look like he's raising a Zuckuss. More »

liner notes

Liner Notes: R. Kelly Is Trapped In The O.R.

- Thanks to a case of appendicitis, R. Kelly will miss today's court date for his child-pornography trial. Thankfully, Kelly's already written a song about the surgery, titled "Incision (Remix)." [Chicago Sun-Times]
- The Police may perform at Chicago's Wrigley Field this July. In related news, they may also not perform at Chicago's Wrigley Field this July. [Live Music Blog]
- Did you guys know the Village Voice does a music poll? [Village Voice]

In a pretrial hearing this morning leading up to his May 9 trial on child pornography charges, R. Kelly's bond was not revoked, so he will be free to continue his tour. [Reuters / Photo: AP]

Did R. Kelly's publicist of 14 years quit last week because the singer asked her and her husband to lie on the witness stand during a hearing related to his long-delayed child pornography trial? [Sandra Rose News]

videodrome

R. Kelly Holds Court in "Hairbraider" Video




The video for R. Kelly's "Hairbraider" is out, and now we can watch women writhe while he slowly reveals the garish gold braids that have already been visible in recent photos. There was some vocoderism on Double Up, but he's fallen so hard for the likes of T-Pain and The-Dream that this feels mostly like a genre exercise. Even though I enjoy all three artists, I hope this vocal effect will sound dated sooner rather than later. Autotune or not, this isn't even the best song he's made about hair braiding.
R. Kelly - Hairbraider [OnSMASH]

mp3

Leak Of The Day: Lil Wayne And R. Kelly Must Really Enjoy Working Together

We'll be okay if 2007 becomes the year where Lil Wayne and R. Kelly go in on one remix a month; the entry for March is this remix of Swizz Beatz' "It's Me Bitches," which has Kells dubbing himself "Mr. Song Of The Week" and getting his Dreamgirl on after Weezy instructs an unnamed woman to "lick the rapper" and engages in an impromptu French lesson: More »

Jury selection in the R. Kelly trial continues with the tale of potential juror No. 37, a white male in his 60s who's into mapmaking, Animal Planet, and 9/11 conspiracy theories revolving around the Pied Piper of R & B's link to the Taliban. If not for the setting of this character sketch, I'd swear it was from an upcoming episode of Trapped In The Closet. [MTV]

I almost forgot to mention that Maura chimed in from her vacation to let us know that Chicago radio is bleeping out the word "Uranus" from the family-friendly edit of R. Kelly's "Sex Planet," proving that R. can even make radio programmers nervous over something as innocuous as a large ball of gas.

Here's a fun game to play with Chapter 13 of "Trapped in the Closet": Count how many times the characters lip-syncing R. Kelly's words accidentally mouth the "[character] says" lines. We counted six, but had to stop when confronted with the R.-scratching-his-PJ'd-ass shot near the clip's climax. [IFC]

trapped in the marketing

R. Kelly, All-Seeing Closet Dweller


Above, the trailer for the next 10 episodes of R. Kelly's Trapped In The Closet hip-hopera, which is mostly taken up by a recap of the series' first 12 installments (including some crazy vocalizng from Kells that may have been the result of a happy studio accident). Two things piqued our interest in the 10 seconds' worth of scenes from upcoming episodes: one, there's apparently a high-speed car-helicopter chase; and two, why is Angel R. Kelly slipping what looks like a car key into Sylvester R. Kelly's front pocket? Is the final scene of Trapped going to pay homage to the Pinto ex machina finale of The Apple? Because if it did, "irony" would officially be dead and buried for the rest of time. More »

mp3

R. Kelly Hoping That Power Of His Vanity Will Help Keep Mobile-Music Market Afloat

You have to say this for R. Kelly: He may be insane (seriously), but he knows how to capitalize on a marketing opportunity when he sees—er, hears—one. Here's "Ringtone," a bonus track on the European version of Double Up; we're guessing that it's going to be a mobile-phone-only release here in the States, if only because we suspect that our nation holds a sizeable number of Trapped In The Closet diehards who will get a little too much pleasure out of the idea of their mobiles announcing that it is, in fact, "Kells on their ringtone": More »

polls

How Many Record Buyers Are Crazy For R. Kelly?

R. Kelly's Double Up may be a bit out there, but it's still on target to be the No. 1 album on this week's Billboard 200. The final tallies come out tomorrow, but now's your chance to guess how many people will want to embark on R.'s interplanetary sexasaurus-powered ride: More »

charts

R. Kelly And Bow Wow Will Have To Learn To Share

Billboard notes the quirky chart notation for "I'm A Flirt," the R. Kelly-penned song that appeared on Bow Wow's album before getting remixed, and de-Bowed, by Kelly. Because of the two versions' common ground, they will be tracked as a single entity on the Billboard singles charts: More »

corrections

"New York Times" Doubles Up On Inaccuracies Regarding R. Kelly

We missed the headline —"A Swaggering Rap Storyteller Unleashing His One-Track Mind"—that inspired the above correction thanks to the holiday, but we're guessing that this little mix-up means curtains for Michelle Malkin's tenure as a holiday-weekend Times copyeditor. More »

the law

R. Kelly Lyrics Get Spoken-Word Treatment In Court

Yesterday R. Kelly's lawyer, Ed Genson, objected to the prosecution entering a copy of his client's 1998 album R. into evidence, saying that reading the album's lyrics in the liner notes could unfairly prejudice the jury against Kelly. When asked by the presiding judge, Vincent Gaughan, just what would result in the jury being tainted, Genson opened the CD's booklet and read lyrics to an unidentified song to the courtroom assemblage, a performance that "[reduced] prosecutor Shauna Boliker and everyone else within earshot to fits of giggles" and caused Kells to cover his face. The judge subsequently decided that the jury could have the CD, but that the printed lyrics would be blocked out, although I suspect that the "message" of "Half On A Baby" comes through loud and clear when it's put to music, too. [The Kelly Chronicles]

mp3

Leak Of The Day: We See A Couple Of New R. Kelly Songs In Your Future

The Smoking Section has two new tracks from R. Kelly: First up is a Twista-assisted remix of Mims' "This Is Why I'm Hot," followed by the Young Jeezy/Young Dro collaboration "Blow It Up." At this point, we can't even keep track of the number of songs Kelly has released in last few months, and while we're worried that he might someday turn into a "less booze, more smooth" version of Robert Pollard, we're enjoying his prolificness for now: More »

R. Kelly's legal woes just never end: Henry Vaughn, aka "Uncle Henry Love," claims that R. Kelly stole his "stepping" dance from him. He also says he gave Kelly the moves to make him look more mature. So which is it, Uncle Henry Love? Did you give them or did he steal them? Also, Kelly released Happy People almost four years ago! Why are you complaining about the step thing now, Uncle Henry Love? Don't you think he's got enough to deal with? [SOHH]

videodrone

R. Kelly Inspires The Ladies To Throw Some D(evil Horn)s


The clip for R. Kelly's "Rock Star" is a pretty straightforward "all the ladies in the house go crazy" performance video, which makes the fact that it has a "story by R. Kelly" credit as part of its opening sequence all the more confusing. Is the "story" merely the fact that, by plugging in his guitar, Kid Rock can turn a sleepy bar into the Whisky A Go-Go circa 1989? Or is the scene at the beginning where R. slaps his face while trying to swat a fly really the precursor to the next video from Double Up, in which he becomes the pesky bug?

R. Kelly - Rockstar (feat. Ludacris & Kid Rock) [DailyMotion]

R. Kelly continues his quest to be King Of Singing "It's The Remix" by adding a few verses to Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body." It's probably best for all involved that his wide-reaching remixing style means that the song's "I'd best not see this clip on YouTube" line is nowhere to be found in this new version. [Prefix]

R. Kelly is finally going to court Sept. 28...to hash out a motion over expert witnesses. Of course who knows when those expert witnesses will be used in an actual trial, but you gotta crawl before you can walk, etc. [MTV]

IFC picks up R. Kelly's hip-hopera Trapped In The Closet for 10 episodes. Episodes? As in half-hour long episodes, each made up of a single, multi-act operetta? Because we seriously wouldn't put it past him. [Variety]

videodrone

R. Kelly Is Smokin' Hot In The Boardroom


The musical part of the video for R. Kelly's "Skin" is your standard CGI-as-substitute-for-desire fare; there are flames, and writhing, and R. Kelly standing in a pool with only his chiseled ab muscles to support him through his time of unbridled lust. But surrounding that part of the clip is a curious bit where Kells and a woman are staring at each other across a long boardroom table, a scene where you can feel the smoldering tension surrounding their discussion of... well, that's what I'm trying to figure out. Watch the clip and then vote on what's actually happening in our poll after the jump! More »