Clique Girlz

The Clique Girlz: Purveyors Of “Food Porn”

noah | February 18, 2009 1:00 am
noah | February 18, 2009 1:00 am

clique.jpgAnti-junk-food agitators the Center For Science In The Public Interest—who you may know from their colloquial title, “America’s Food Police”—have struck out against the Clique Girlz-endorsed, nipple-shaped candies known as Baby Bottle Pops. Mainly because their sugar-laden ingredients is almost as bad for kids as the prematurely aged pop starlets’ consumerism-laden lyrics! One of the CSPI’s mouthpieces went so far as to call the Girlz’ forthcoming ad campaign “food porn” even though it hasn’t launched yet, and added a special message to Topps owner Michael Eisner: “I think I speak for millions of parents when I say: Mr. Eisner, please keep your candy nipples out of our children’s mouths.” It’s not just parents who support that statement, believe me.

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The Clique Girlz’ Sugary Sisterhood Might Be Turning A Bit Sour

Kate Richardson | January 29, 2009 1:30 am
Kate Richardson | January 29, 2009 1:30 am

It seems that the understandably pallid career trajectory of nobody’s favorite tweensploitation group, the Clique Girlz, is maybe, finally going to pick up with a promotion deal for Baby Bottle Pop, aka “nipple-shaped candy.” But one fan site is disseminating the rumor that Ariel Moore (the blonde one (haha!)) plans on leaving the group before she can shill Michael Eisner’s sugary anatomically correct wares. At this point it’s just a rumor, but were it to come true (heaven forbid!), what would this mean for the Girlz? A giant purple nurple on their promotion deal? Resetting the Autotune to “two-part harmony” and forging ahead? Crassly casting a replacement? The Internet has a few ideas.

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The Clique Girlz: They Won’t Stop Until We’ve Had Enough

noah | January 28, 2009 2:00 am
noah | January 28, 2009 2:00 am

clique.jpgWhen Kate first happened across the tweenpop hydra that goes by the name of the Clique Girlz six months ago, she upbraided them for their credit bubblegum (“Perhaps their only vice is shopping and maxing their parents credit cards at stores like Hot Topic, Betsey Johnson, and Ed Hardy”), their gleeful willingness to pander to the Christian-pop world, and their seemingly freakish ability to seem completely weathered before their Sweet 16s even got to the planning stage. It would seem that the kids who serve as the Girlz’ target demographic reacted in a much more healthy way to the blonde troika’s antics: They’re “in danger of washing out of the entertainment industry before their first full CD comes to market,” according to a report in today’s New York Times. Unless, of course, the unlikely pairing of nipple-shaped candy and former Disney CEO Michael Eisner can save them!

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One More List Before We Go: The Top 12 Idolator Posts Of 2008

noah | December 31, 2008 11:30 am
noah | December 31, 2008 11:30 am

As you may have gathered, I’m raring to close the book on 2008, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t run down some of the site’s highlights during what was a pretty dreary year overall. After the jump, behold a pretty subjective top 12 of the year (thanks to our technological limbo I can’t run any sort of numbers, but I think this list accurately captures the best moments we’ve had during a long slog of a year). And of course I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank all of you for coming back, reading, commenting, and pointing out when I get shit wrong (which is too often). If you think I got this list wrong, feel free to abuse me with compliments in the comments section!

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“Nashville Star” Will Not Let The Clique Girlz Get Shoved Down Its Throat

noah | June 25, 2008 11:00 am
noah | June 25, 2008 11:00 am

becarefulwhatyouwishfor.jpgYesterday, I wondered why Danity Kane, and not the previously advertised Pussycat Dolls, were the featured group of pop tartlets on Nashville Star‘s Very Special Country Goes Pop (To Widen Our Demographic) episode. Apparently my initial speculation about there being some sort of feud between Nicole Scherzinger and Jewel was slightly off–TMZ is claiming that any booking-related tussles were actually happening in corporate boardrooms, and the cause of conflict was none other than Idolator’s favorite group of Jersey Shore preteens who are aged before their time, The Clique Girlz.

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Clique Girlz Vie For The All-Important “Women 35-85” Demographic

Kate Richardson | June 18, 2008 12:45 pm
Kate Richardson | June 18, 2008 12:45 pm

clique%20girlz2.pngThe most interesting thing about hyper-marketed teen groups like Clique Girlz is the often spectacularly lame publicity machines they’re saddled with, which succeed in gaining them exposure but fumble in other ways, like throwing them out to entirely age-inappropriate audiences. (JoJo’s performance at the 2000 Republican National Convention is but one example.) Yesterday, the Clique Girlz’ journey toward middling success and a disappointing late adolescence resulted in one such appearance: The credit-crazy singing group hit the stage of NBC’s Today, because there’s no better way to reel in the 10-15 demographic than a song or two on an early-morning program geared toward rich, middle-aged housewives.

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The Curious Case Of The Clique Girlz

Kate Richardson | June 5, 2008 3:00 am
Kate Richardson | June 5, 2008 3:00 am

clique.jpgWhen the shadowy individuals who dedicate their lives to exploiting preteens for profit mercifully deactivated the JoJo cyborg, humankind slipped into a false sense of security. Believing we were safe from artificially matured pop stars with the bodies of tween girls and the hearts, minds and faces of hardened divorcées, we let our guard down. And thus came Clique Girlz, a new Radio Disney-ready trio so freakishly weathered in spirit one has to wonder if they might be a Benjamin Button-type situation.

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