Idolator

Longtime readers may remember that I am not a fan of the New York ensemble Morningwood, thanks to their being a generally obnoxious, yet somehow "poppier" version of the Gossip. And now they are back with "Sugarbaby," which actually uses the term "American Apparel" in a lyric. While watching its video the other night, I was struck with a terrifying thought: What if this song is the natural successor to "I Kissed A Girl"? It's got the same clunky lyrics and hit-you-over-the-head production on the chorus, only the main beat borrows heavily from "Don't Stand So Close To Me" by the Police instead of "Rock & Roll, Pt. 2." And both Perry and Morningwood singer Chantal Claret are similarly infatuated with the edginess they think they have. Plus: Both Perry and Morningwood are on Capitol Records, so one would think that the few people remaining in the marketing department there would be more than happy to roll out a marketing campaign identical to the one that's already worked. Crap, you guys. We are so doomed. [YouTube]

While on a $2-bin spree a few months back, we decided to pick up the self-titled album by the New York outfit Morningwood—despite our grave misgivings about the band's name, we had an extra two bucks, and there were more than enough copies in the bin to spare. We returned to the Idolator flophouse and plopped the CD into our stereo, only to be gobsmacked by how just flat-out awful it sounded. The music was stoopidly slick, the songs were all too long by half, and lead moaner Chantal Claret's "sexy" vamping almost made us feel bad for her. ("First it was my legs, now my heart is open"? Come on.) The vision we got was of a Capitol Records honcho, upon finding out that The Gossip existed, heading down to the Major Label Cloning Lab to concoct a version that was completely depoliticized, 110% cheesier, and really freaking annoying. The CD was returned to the used-bin from which it came a few weeks later. More »