Idolator: Nicole Scherzinger

Live-Blogging The 2008 American Music Awards: Get Ready For The Triumphant Return Of The Medley

Maura Johnston — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 19:45:00 EST

Good evening, friends! Tonight is the American Music Awards, the annual event where the American public is allowed to pretend like it cares about the music industry as the biz's most important releases either get pushed out to retail ahead of their street dates or get shoved into a dusty corner of the retailers with which they've struck exclusive distribution deals. And as if to underscore the whole "why people don't care about the music business" ideal," I'm watching the red carpet show, which apparently has contracted at least partial hostship duties to Nicole "You Know, I'm In The Pussycat Dolls" Scherzinger, who is apparently contractually obligated to flaunt her ass as she conducts awkward interviews with the likes of Steven Tyler and Ne-Yo in hopes that people actually care about her existence and maybe buy a copy of Doll Domination so as to easily conjure up further posterior-related fantasies in the comfort of their own home. Full coverage after the jump!

7:45 p.m. So far in the pre-show, Corbin Bleu has made fun of High School Musical, Ne-Yo and Nicole Scherzinger have told the crowd that they'll be performing medleys, and Steven Tyler and Joe Perry have both tried really hard to camouflage the fact that they're relying on canes to get around.

7:46 p.m. The background music this year is all being credited, no doubt so people get reminded that oh, yeah, Beyonce sang that song about putting a ring on it.

7:48 p.m. Natasha Bedingfield: A leather suit and diamonds. There's something to be said for "bold fashion choices in the face of global economic collapse," and that something may be, "oh, screw off, chick who wrote the theme for The Hills."

7:50 p.m. Alicia Keys—so good last year!—is wearing earrings that look like they were fashioned from EPs. She is also promising "three of the most diverse people you've seen on one stage at one time" for her performance of "Superwoman," which is closing out the night and which apparently is part of this year being The Year Of The Woman. And one of those women: Natalie Imbruglia! I thought she'd been in hiding!

7:59 p.m. Nicole Scherzinger is now looking for a job "hosting." Well, I guess the music thing isn't working out...

8:00 p.m. Christina Aguilera opens the show with a business-casual take on "Beautiful."

8:01 p.m. Song No. 2 of the "seven songs in seven minutes" medley is "Keeps Gettin' Better," for which Christina has ditched the blazer. Is it me, or does she sound like she quaffed a big glass of milk right before she went onstage?

8:02 p.m. And now it's time for "Genie In A Bottle," which has resulted in her adding a skirt to her ensemble. So much fabric crammed into these seven minutes!

8:03 p.m. "Dirrrty" results in the removal of the skirrrty and her ensemble looking suspiciously Madonna-like. Oh, what am I talking about, "suspiciously."

8:04 p.m. "Ain't No Other Man" = a top hat and a little lace jackety-thingy! I'm really impressed at whoever did the wardrobe styling for this bit, as they figured out how to conjure up period details with just like, scraps of fabric. Maybe it was the result of a Project Runway challenge? It is in LA right now, even if this season will never be seen because of all that legal wrangling.

8:05 p.m. "Fighter" results in her sorta-awkwardly whipping down the jackety thingy and turning it into an ass-coverer. This outfit, I tell you, is like the Transformers of clothing.

8:06 p.m. Many people in the front row: Not amused.

8:07 p.m. Speaking of not being amused, here's Jimmy Kimmel!

8:08 p.m. Oh, he said that Chinese Democracy was a "brand old album." Get it? Christ, another three hours of this...

8:10 p.m. This is apparently "the youngest American Music Awards show ever." And yet, Jimmy Kimmel's jokes: All old.

8:11 p.m. Apparently this "year of the woman" idea has been beaten into every presenter from above, as Jamie Foxx is talking about an eight-year-old Destiny's Child song while sleepwalking through his presentation of the Favorite Soul/R & B Artist category.

8:13 p.m. Rihanna wins. She is wearing a dress that seems to be fashioned from pieced-together dryer sheets.

8:14 p.m. Haha, did you guys know that Lil Wayne has a lot of tattoos? Hahha, you guys! Hilarious!

8:14 p.m. Night Of The Women continues with a performance by New Kids On The Block.

8:15 p.m. Um... apparently none of the dress rehearsals involved the backing music. What is up with the mix on this performance? Oh, well. At least Donnie Wahlberg can still rap... and segue into "The Right Stuff!" Yes, we're back in medley territory, everyone.

8:17 p.m. That synchronized crotch-grab right before "Please Don't Girl" kicked in sure gave the song a new meaning.

8:17 p.m. Eesh, this medley is really hanging rough. Who on earth is running sound for this performance? Can they be fired before they under-EQ again?

8:18 p.m. Well, at least Jordan hit that high note.

8:19 p.m. Why are people standing up? Are they getting ready to walk out in protest of the lousy sound? That's the only explanation that makes sense here.

8:22 p.m. We're back! And somehow the sound running through Jimmy Kimmel's mic is running OK.

8:23 p.m. Paris Hilton and T-Pain: Somehow, the world has not swallowed itself in a black hole of vapidity. (Also, T-Pain's speaking voice is really high? Who knew?)

8:24 p.m. Favorite Pop/Rock Male: Chris Brown. Everyone's standing up again. Don't people know what an ovation is supposed to mean?

8:25 p.m. Oh, here's Scott Weiland. His Teleprompter-reading is, uh, more unfortunate than his answers to direct questions.

8:26 p.m. And of course, he introduced Pink's performance of... "Sober." Yipes.

8:27 p.m. Pink is overcoming the terrible sound sorta ably.

8:29 p.m. I sort of want to do an interview with someone in charge of mixing performances like these, just to see why musical performances on TV are such a challenge. (See also pretty much any episode of Saturday Night Live this season.) Is it because it's being mixed for the audience in the venue? I don't get it.

8:32 p.m. There is something incredibly sad about every Britney Spears promotional appearance these days. A deadness behind her eyes.

8:34 p.m. For a second I thought this music introducing David Cook was actually "Pretend We're Dead." Talk about taking that, Corporate America.

8:34 p.m. Hey, look, a rumor that Axl Rose is going to show up! I hope he comes out for "Superwoman."

8:35 p.m. Taylor Swift's set seems to be left over from a past performance by Evanescence. She is getting super-emotional.

8:37 p.m. That song was sad.

8:38 p.m. Time for some Dancing With The Stars cross-promotion! Lance Bass, presenting the, uh, Favorite Country Band, Duo, Or Group (We're Just Trying To Cover Our Bases) Award.

8:38 p.m. Ugh, Rascal Flatts win. Not that I really had a dog in this particular fight, but Rascal Flatts are just so awful.

8:40 p.m. Oh, hey, it's Ne-Yo! And there's a giant monster swinging up the horn-heavy arrangement of "Miss Independent" somewhere backstage, apparently.

8:42 p.m. This medley brings up an important point: Wouldn't Ne-Yo have done a much better James Bond theme than, uh, pretty much anyone else tasked with the job in the past few years?

8:43 p.m. Think about it: He could even use the mic stand as a weapon in the video! Man, this is so great—that bit with the mirror!!—but the sound is eating it all up. Makes me want to see him live ASAP.

8:43 p.m. Now, see, that is what you give an ovation to, crowd. I swear, the grade inflation in society today...

8:47 p.m. Jimmy Kimmel has apparently decided to be on whatever Scott Weiland is on. And here's Nickelback to present the Favorite Hip-Hop Album Award. Chad Kroeger's all blown out, you guys! Actually, anyone notice that they're all looking kinda Rascal Flatts-y these days?

8:48 p.m. Kanye West wins the Favorite Hip-Hop Album Award... for Graduation. 9/11(/07), never forget y'all.

8:49 p.m. "I wake up in the morning thinking about what stereotypes I'm going to break.... It's our responsibility as musicians to push each other."

8:50 p.m. He's calling for a return to '60s/'70s rock grandeur. Bigger than the Beatles! "I wanna be Elvis!" And—well, let's just hope his story ends more elegantly.

8:50 p.m. Jesse McCartney has turned into Frankie Muniz.

8:51 p.m. Leona Lewis' dress: Dominatrix gone Swarovski?

8:54 p.m. I have nothing to say about this song, except that it seems to have been unearthed from a time capsule buried sometime around the release of Emotions.

8:57 p.m. Seriously, if Leona Lewis is at the forefront of the New Vanguard Of Pop Stars, the music business is even more screwed than I thought. What about her is interesting, is special at all? At least Kanye has aspects of his personality that are compelling. Shit, at least he has a personality.

8:59 p.m. Oh no, Jimmy Kimmel made the same Elvis/Kanye joke I did :(

9:00 p.m. Billy Ray Cyrus and his plugs take the stage. And, aww, he's introducing his daughter, who's just turning 16, but whose speaking voice sounds as seasoned as a Golden GIrl's.

9:01 p.m. And apparently her attitudes toward the paparazzi are just as seasoned, given the opening "dance" bit of this performance.

9:02 p.m. OMG ON-STAGE SLIDE??? She really does have it all.

9:03 p.m. Oh, these high notes are sort of unfortunate.

9:04 p.m. Favorite Male Country Artist is presented, and Contractually Obligated ABC Cross-Promotion Girl is towering over poor Archie.

9:04 p.m. Brad Paisley wins. Uh, where exactly was Play No. 1?

9:05 p.m. Political jokes by Brad Paisley. Ah, edgy.

9:06 p.m. There's no way this Tom Cruise Top Gunning Down Hitler flick can be any good at all, right?

9:09 p.m. The Bachelor fills me with such ra—hey, it's Coldplay! Complete with giggly Chris Martin?

9:10 p.m. Viva La Vida is an album that I have pretty much no problem with. The title track is fun to sing along with in the car. The songs are completely not worthy of being switched off. (Although how much paper is being wasted with this confetti drop, huh?)

9:14 p.m. Richie Sambora and Colbie Caillat... uh, sure. Here's Favorite Pop/Rock Album!

9:15 p.m. Alicia Keys' As I Am wins. Wait, she's nominated in three more categories? We have a lot more show to go here, people.

9:16 p.m. I wish there was a live cam feed so we could see the GIANT LEAFBLOWERS that are no doubt blowing away the confetti right now.

9:22 p.m. I guess the members of the Wu-Tang Clan not being able to name the Jonas Brothers is supposed to be some metacommentary on the fragmentation on music?

9:23 p.m. Terrence Howard! Will he go on a tear about his Iron Man snub? No, he'll just stick to the script. Ah well.

9:24 p.m. Fact-checking moment: "I Stay In Love" is not a hit.

9:27 p.m. Yeah, I guess that was OK.

9:28 p.m. And now, it's That Dude Who Deflowered Jessica Simpson and That Lady Who Ruined How I Met Your Mother! Side note: Were people really clamoring for the return of Scrubs? Doesn't Zach Braff have some overly maudlin "I'm an overeducated white boy" movie to make?

9:29 p.m. Taylor Swift wins Favorite Country Female. She is surprised. She is surprised? OK, this bit of her schtick is starting to get a little Melinda Doolittleish.

9:30 p.m. Daughtry, with lead Daughtry in a very shiny suit, is presenting Favorite Pop/Rock Female.

9:31 p.m. I want Mariah to win if it means Jack McBrayer will accept her award. But alas, the prize goes to Rihanna.

9:33 p.m. Who would buy a Fergie shoe?

9:37 p.m. Dear ABC: Please stop trying to make Private Practice happen. Also stop trying to make The Fray happen. Especially since this dude really can't do the whole "lower register" thing, and the possibility of people caring about this song without visual aids from Lost is near-nil.

9:42 p.m. And now it's time for Favorite Rap/Hip-Hop Male Artist. You will recall there is no "female" counterpart for this particular category, because, well, yeah.

9:42 p.m. Kanye wins. I guess they're not frisking audience members for cameras.

9:43 p.m. Kanye passes his award along to Lil Wayne! He seems to be a little unclear on the AMAs' nominating period, but hey, it's understandable.

9:43 p.m. Ashley Tisdale is here and showing the audience how many times she can say the word "T-Mobile" in 60 seconds.

9:44 p.m. The Jonas Brothers win the Sponsored By A Phone Award, and they are continuing the shiny-suit trend. What is this? Did Jessica McClintock branch out into menswear?

9:46 p.m. The-Dream gives himself a shout-out for writing "Single Ladies."

9:46 p.m. So as to have a different "feel" than SNL, this version of the song opens with a Copacabana-worthy intro.

9:47 p.m. BRB DANCING ALONG

9:49 p.m. Queen Latifah is putting her hand up, as is some dorky white lady.

9:50 p.m. One thing that's nice about this year is that at least a few of the people singing can really freaking wail. No endless "Baby Love" here—oh, wait, they just announced the Pussycat Dolls. Ah, crap.

9:54 p.m. Oh, Christ, this Fray track again? How much money are you getting, ABC?

9:56 p.m. Can you gauge presenters' relative importance by how network-promotional the people they're paired with are? What does it mean that Akon is stuck with Someone Else From Dancing With The Stars?

9:57 p.m. Alicia Keys wins Favorite Soul/R&B Album, and she gives a Flavor Flav "Woooowwwww" in celebration. Also, there's no way that the final performer of the night doesn't win the final award of the night, right?

9:58 p.m. I'm pretty sure that was the first Obama reference of the evening.

9:59 p.m. Demi Lovato's presentation style: Awkward eighth-grade president. Which is actually pretty endearing.

9:59 p.m. Instead of bursting through a potentially treacherous glass wall, the Jonas Brothers have decided this year to induce seizures in their audience via bright green lasers.

10:00 p.m. This is harder to look at than that GMail theme that's designed to emulate an old-school VT100!

10:01 p.m. Why did it take me until just now to realize the Disney/ABC connection here? Blame my immersion in Guns N' Roses. Also, the lasers.

10:03 p.m. Please discuss the Pussycat Dolls' performance among yourselves while I fix myself a drink. This song is awful. Also, you just know they are all wearing the trenchcoats for the purposes of FLASHING.

10:04 p.m. Look, they all have names on their stripper poles! And the one in the middle still can't sing live worth a hip-thrust!

10:05 p.m. Be careful what you wish for, because you just might have to endure Nicole Scherzinger being shoved down America's throat one more time.

10:06 p.m. I guess Jimmy Iovine's "influence" means that the Dolls get enough time to incorporate their dance remix. Just what we all needed.

10:07 p.m. "Actress" Ali Landry just called the American Music Awards some sort of hip-superlative. Does that mean the MisShapes are there?

10:12 p.m. Surprise, it's Justin Timberlake. I mean, who would have thought that someone who made a surprise appearance on Saturday Night Live last weekend, and the TRL finale the day after that, and who has a new charity single out, would appear at an awards show?

10:13 p.m. A year after being brought in front of the mtvU Woodies' confused crowd for vague humanitarian-focused reasons, Annie Lennox is being honored by the AMAs for being generally awesome. Can I just say that "No More I Love Yous" is kind of my jam?

10:15 p.m. Ah, a performance! Of "Why," I believe. This song is also up there.

10:16 p.m. Although she seems to have also sipped from Xtina's milk stash.

10:17 p.m. This performance would be a lot more powerful without the Career Retrospective Video Medley playing behind it.

10:20 p.m. Lots of applause. Everyone is standing, but the meaning behind that particular gesture has been a bit drained of meaning this evening.

10:21 p.m. Lots of words beginning with "m" in her speech.

10:22 p.m. She's 53?! This gives me hope for 20 years from now.

10:26 p.m. That scene of Sally Field frowning dejectedly just made me want to watch Soapdish all over again. Come on, everyone! Half an hour to go!

10:28 p.m. It's an ad for Barbados. Is this part of the reason Rihanna won?

10:28 p.m. Natasha Bedingfield causes me to ask, "Is the 10 p.m. hour filled with performances that were the result of favor-trading or what?"

10:28 p.m. (And I like some of her songs, but come on, a three-song medley of her and two tracks by the Pussycat Dolls?)

10:29 p.m. I guess it could be worse: This awards show could have some sort of Lauren Montag (or whoever) tie-in.

10:30 p.m. "Pocketful Of Sunshine" is such an oddly dreary-sounding song. I like the chorus a lot, but there's something about the track as a whole that's just so... rainy. I know, I know, it's an odd adjective, but close your eyes and see if you don't conjure up a drizzly image.

10:31 p.m. Was that two songs? Wasn't it supposed to be three? Did I miss something? Did her brother stop in and do a bar of "Gotta Get Thru This" while I blacked out momentarily?

10:32 p.m. Speaking of dreary, here's Rihanna... performing "Rehab"... with an eyepatch on? I guess this is her attempt to out-accessorize Sasha Fierce's Krugerhand.

10:33 p.m. I like how her backup singers are wearing the Little Dom Peep outfits Ri-Ri wore during her "Umbrella" phase. Hey, everybody, it's important to recycle!

10:35 p.m. Well, that's over, and I think that one of the biggest singles artist of the past year just got less airtime than Nicole Scherzaface And Her Band Of Roving Bimbos. Total Doll Domination SoundScans to date: 166,767!

10:39 p.m. Motley Crue! Vince Neil would like to remind you just who his band is! Tommy Lee is also wearing a shiny suit! Mick Mars is standing up all by himself!

10:40 p.m. Daughtry wins the Favorite Pop/Rock Duo Or Group. The satin quotient of the clothes on this stage is making my eyes bleed.

10:42 p.m. Seriously, the amount of gold satin covering Tommy Lee could fashion three or four prom dresses.

10:42 p.m. Kanye West is now performing in Tron II: The Red LED District.

10:44 p.m. I like the fake calliopes on this song still. And I really like how Kanye is so, so into this performance. Jumping into every note! Spitting out the vitriol!

10:46 p.m. And now, Sarah McLachlan. If she sings the song from the ASPCA ads, I'll have a real reason to cry tonight, instead of just one that's lamenting the Pussycat Dolls' existence.

10:47 p.m. Oh no :(

10:47 p.m. Pink is harmonizing nicely. At least the producers decided against showing the sad puppies and kittens behind them.

10:48 p.m. I really love Pink's voice. Sarah's lilt is playing against her gruffness in a pretty incredible way.

10:50 p.m. That was lovely. Seriously. Simple and moving and well-performed.

10:53 p.m. Toxic Twins time. Joe Perry is walking with a cane.

10:54 p.m. These two are also toxic when it comes to reading a TelePrompTer.

10:54 p.m. Artist Of The Year: Chris Brown? Really?

10:55 p.m. He would have given it to Coldplay! Everyone's so generous tonight!

10:55 p.m. Faceless announcer on Alicia Keys: "She's been called 'a genius' and 'brilliant.'" By Clive Davis.

10:57 p.m. "For my first surprise, here's the woman I was sitting next to all night!"

10:58 p.m. And now... Kathleen Battle. Well, a soprano wasn't exactly the big finish I was expecting, but hey, music in America takes all kinds, right?

10:59 p.m. Alicia and the Queen are impressed. (As am I, I guess. Although I liked last year's reggae bit better.)

11:00 p.m. And... the big finish! Everyone's hugging! Jimmy Kimmel is making a dumb joke! All of the other winners are being chyroned on the screen—holy crap, that Alvin & The Chipmunks soundtrack beat out Mamma Mia!? Oh, America. Oh, American Music Awards.

The complete list of winners, in case you want to see whose street teams successfully stuffed the e-ballot boxes:
POP/ROCK MUSIC
Favorite Male Artist: Chris Brown
Favorite Female Artist: Rihanna
Favorite Band, Duo or Group: Daughtry
Favorite Album: Alicia Keys, As I Am

COUNTRY MUSIC
Favorite Male Artist: Brad Paisley
Favorite Female Artist: Taylor Swift
Favorite Band, Duo or Group: Rascal Flatts
Favorite Album: Carrie Underwood, Carnival Ride

RAP/HIP-HOP MUSIC
Favorite Male Artist: Kanye West
Favorite Band, Duo or Group: Three 6 Mafia
Favorite Album: Kanye West, Graduation

SOUL/RHYTHM & BLUES
Favorite Male Artist: Chris Brown
Favorite Female Artist: Mary J Blige
Favorite Album: Alicia Keys, As I Am

T-MOBILE BREAKTHROUGH ARTIST
Breakthrough Artist: Jonas Brothers

INSPIRATIONAL
Favorite Artist: Third Day

ALTERNATIVE ROCK MUSIC
Favorite Artist: Linkin Park

ADULT CONTEMPORARY MUSIC
Favorite Artist: Jordin "Only 18" Sparks

SOUNDTRACKS
Favorite Album: Alvin & The Chipmunks

LATIN MUSIC
Favorite Artist: Enrique Iglesias

ARTIST OF THE YEAR
Artist of the Year: Chris Brown

And my unofficial award:
BEST THING ABOUT THE NIGHT: Ne-Yo, duh.

Nicole Scherzinger Has A Shoe Fetish

Maura Johnston — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 09:15:00 EST

Speaking of LeBron James, he's apparently the latest person charged with encouraging people to care about Nicole Scherzinger again. The two appear in a (nearly four-minute!) Nike ad that's supposed to be "funny," I guess, since instead of diamonds La Scherz gets all hot and bothered when her man presents her with a pair of self-branded kicks. But it just made me think about how the Pussycat Dolls' brand of sexiness has flipped up on itself and turned into this sort of inverted camp at this point, and how Scherzinger's "turned-on" persona, which I guess still sort of works as far as titillating some people (maybe?), could probably be flipped on with an item as mundane as a jar of mustard if the price was right. [YouTube via Cajun Boy In The City]

What's a bigger sign of the Pussycat Dolls' ...

Maura Johnston — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 11:00:00 EDT

What's a bigger sign of the Pussycat Dolls' desperation: The fact that there's already a third single from their quickly fading new album, the "Big Girls Don't Cry"-like weeper "I Hate This Part" (in which alpha Doll Nicole Scherzinger tries to go the Serious Sad Singer Playing Piano On A Beach route, I guess to confuse fans of sensitive-dude bands); or Scherzinger's assertion that Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin would make a great addition to the group because "she seems like a headstrong woman, a tough chick. And she's hot." What, no mention of Palin's flute prowess, Nicole? I mean, it's not like you're going to let her sing. [YouTube / Huffington Post]

Americans Apparently Not Fooled By The Stealth Sorta-Release Of "Her Name Is Nicole"

Dan Gibson — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 13:30:30 EDT

danielgibson77: pussycat dolls might not make the top 5 albums this week
mauraatidolator: no way
mauraatidolator: haahahahaha
mauraatidolator: oh schadenfreude.
danielgibson77: metallica, ne-yo, demi lovato, kings of leon, then jazmine sullivan and PCD fighting for 5th.
mauraatidolator: nice
mauraatidolator: NICE
mauraatidolator: hahaha
mauraatidolator: oh that restores my faith in the world
mauraatidolator: not the kings of leon bit so much

In case you're wondering, the rest of the top 10 will apparently consist of Joe, Kid Rock, Lil Wayne, and Young Jeezy. [HITS Daily Double]

"Her Name Is Nicole" Exists, Sort Of

Maura Johnston — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 16:00:00 EDT

Only Nicole Scherzinger's floptastic solo debut has been rebranded as a Pussycat Dolls album, and retitled Doll Domination, and given a release date of tomorrow! From two writeups of Domination that hit newsstands today: "Not that the Pussycat Dolls are turning realistic. They are, after all, a burlesque dance troupe that was recast as a vocal group featuring Nicole Scherzinger. On the album she is credited with 'all lead and background vocals,' with the other four Dolls providing 'additional' vocals." ... "Scherzinger's solo album was delayed after single 'Baby Love' and other club and download tracks failed to produce sufficient buzz. Four songs originally intended for that project are on Domination." Not that I was wholly fooled by the other four Dolls finally getting identities of sorts, but surely Scherzinger must be wondering why she can only catch a break from the public if she's operating under the umbrella of Robin Antin? [NYT / USA Today]

The Other Four Pussycat Dolls Are Finally Given Identifying Marks

Maura Johnston — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 15:00:00 EDT

Allowing the other four members of the Pussycat Dolls to have their first initials on the cover of their forthcoming album represents something of a step for Nicole Scherzinger's backup singers to finally break through and maybe, someday, have personalities of their own. Shame, though, that the protracted negotiaions leading up to this breakthrough resulted in Nicole pulling rank and telling the rest of the girls that she was the only one allowed to wear a color in the photograph.

The Doll Domination Cover [interscope.com]

Nicole Scherzinger's Solo Album Officially Dead (For Now)

Maura Johnston — Wed, 14 May 2008 14:45:00 EDT

From MTV's piece on the upcoming MTV Movie Awards, which will also feature uncool major-label chumps Coldplay: "The Pussycat Dolls... will also hit the stage during the irreverent awards show, broadcast live this year on Sunday, June 1. The girls will grab the mic from host Mike Myers to perform 'When I Grow Up' from their upcoming second album." I'd probably hold off from using words as, um, concrete as "upcoming" when it comes to talking about album releases featuring La Scherz—at least until someone actually pays money for a copy of Her Name Is Nicole. She seems to be a little, shall we say, jinxed in that department. (Maybe Tori Alamaze put a hex on her?) [MTV]

Nicole Scherzinger Sings National Anthem, Avoids Adding Line About Her Genitalia

Maura Johnston — Tue, 06 May 2008 13:45:00 EDT

Nicole Scherzinger's 45-slowed-down-to-33 performance of "The Star-Spangled Banner" not only features her wearing an outfit that covers her midriff (perhaps that's the cause for the boos at the outset?), it's pretty straight-and-narrow—not to mention relatively in key for an a capella performance. But surely I can't be the only one who thinks that this is step one in her efforts to Kristy Lee Cook it up in a final, last-ditch effort to save her solo album from eternal label purgatory? I can't wait until she wears a red, white, and blue jumpsuit for the Macy's July 4 fireworks display and mashes her way through "God Bless The USA," complete with a posse of Statue of Liberty-dressed Pussycat Dolls behind her. After all, nothing can be worse than her Duran Duran cover, right?

I had to. I'm sorry. Here's the original as a peace offering.

Nicole Scherzinger Sings National Anthem [YouTube via ONTD]
Nicole Scherzinger - Rio (Caress Brazilian Mix) [YouTube]
Duran Duran Rio [YouTube]

Nicole Scherzinger Gets Another Makeover In The Name Of Saving Her Career

Maura Johnston — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 09:45:00 EDT

Undaunted by the eternal shelving of her very expensive solo album, lead Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger is still trying every trick in the book to be taken seriously as An Artist. The latest: A promotion for a Brazil-inspired Caress Body Wash (with passion flower cream and acai oil!) that features La Scherz singing lead on the "Caress Brazilian Mix" of Duran Duran's "Rio," a song that really didn't need to be remade and that certainly didn't need to be remade with her thin vocals and a super-cheesy-sounding "Latin" guitar line. Somehow she hasn't realized yet that the American public can't miss her if she hasn't gone away, although judging by her brand-new stage name, maybe the people running her career are figuring that few people realized she was actually out there making music sans backup Dolls in the first place.

I've gone through the whole minisite and the word "Scherzinger" doesn't appear once, which makes me wonder if she's going to be hauling herself in front of a judge for a legal name change sometime soon.

Caress - Unleash the Excitement of Brazil [Official site; HT Reed Fischer]

Last night while flipping past Girlicious, ...

Maura Johnston — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 09:15:19 EST

Last night while flipping past Girlicious, I noticed that Robin Antin was standing in front of two pieces of oaktag heralding Nicole Scherzinger's Her Name Is Nicole, which, unbeknownst to every industry observer who's had the "pleasure" of watching every single from it tank, is apparently "in stores now." (Click the picture for a fullish-sized screenshot of the poster.) Perhaps this segment of the show was shot on location in CutoutBinLand? [Earlier]

Nicole Scherzinger Gives Up?

Maura Johnston — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 16:15:18 EST

Tonight marks the premiere of the CW series Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious, the sequel to The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll that will set out to launch another girl group under the Pussycat Dolls' brand name-slash-marketing deal with Interscope Records. In the New York Daily News' preview of the show, not only do we learn about the Girlicious-branded merchandise that'll soon be lining your local 99-cent stores' aisles (makeup, clothing, a new album incorporating the sounds of TLC and Destiny's Child), we learn that the original Pussycat Doll—Nicole "Her Name Is Nicole" Scherzinger—will be returning to the fishnet-covered arms of the group that spawned her.

Stalwart PCD fans should also be excited to know that Nicole Scherzinger is back with that group and they're making music again.
"We're in the studio right now," [Pussycat Dolls founder Robin] Antin said. "Nicole is 100% back with us. She actually never left. She was working on her solo stuff and it's out there and people will hear that, but she actually wants to focus on Pussycat Dolls right now. We all want to. We're going full force."

Scherzinger's "solo stuff" has been, of course, "out there" for a while, despite the general populace's unwillingness to pay it any mind. What her newfound desire to focus on the Pussycat Dolls' output right now will mean for the release date of her long-delayed solo debut Her Name Is Nicole—which now has a June 23 street date—is anyone's guess, although given that Scherzinger is the only singer credited on the Pussycat Dolls' first album and there's been a wide swath of indifference to the songs on Nicole that have made it out so far perhaps the suits at Interscope are just thinking of giving the whole project a quick rebranding and a Paris Hilton-assisted bonus track or two, if only to get the damned thing off everyone's backs.

'Girlicious' musical vibes [NY Daily News]

Is Pushing An Album Back Ever Good For Its Health?

Maura Johnston — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:40:40 EST

Today Kelefa Sanneh wrote about All $tar, a Nashville rapper who's been the city's "next big thing" for three years now—excxept for the fact that his debut album, Street Ball, has been in limbo since 2005, thanks to his label, Cash Money/Universal, going over the preparation for the album with what seems to be the finest-tooth comb ever. (Sanneh: "...it's not uncommon for rappers to wait months or years while labels try to figure out the right single, the right track selection, the right marketing plan.") What struck me is that I've heard about so many delayed albums lately—from Amerie to All $tar to Nicole Scherzinger—that I can't help but wonder if the music industry is further shooting its sales hopes in the foot by stoking negative buzz around albums by somewhat established stars or high-profile up-and-comers. Especially in the current environment of music, where people seem to have many excuses for ignoring records at the ready. After the jump, a few arguments against pushing release dates, marketing-department-emanating objections be damned.

Announcing that an album's been pushed back is a really easy way to unleash the stink of failure around the project. Probably the biggest argument in favor of avoiding delays, particularly in these schadenfreude-laden times. Pushing back an album is more and more seeming like the recorded-music industry's equivalent of not screening a film for critics, except in the case of delayed albums no one can actually legally listen to the music and prove the critics (or, in these cases, the suits) wrong by turning what was seen as a flop into a hit.

The global music/leak market.Take Van Hunt, who parted ways with Blue Note before his third album, Popular hit stores—but after releases of the album were sent to music writers. Popular actually leaked last month, shortly before Van Hunt announced the breakup. And the ease with which one can acquire import editions of albums is important, too; I bought the German edition of Amerie's Because I Love It via amazon.co.uk last year. As of now, it's apparently being released Stateside sometime this spring—but I remember being told that it was coming out "this spring" last year, too. Prolonging the release of albums serves to depress said records' sales more and more, thanks to the increased availability of music, not to mention the sharp decrease in traditional retail outlets that music buyers would visit every Tuesday.

The potential for datedness. This was inspired by reading an Entertainment Weekly article about the long-delayed Amy Heckerling movie I Could Never Be Your Woman, which was written in 1997 and titled with what I think is a White Town reference. It's getting a direct-to-DVD release this week, and full of references to Will & Grace and the WB. In pop music, where the trends seem to go by at even greater speed, the potential for datedness is even worse (T-Pain being the last six months' Akon, etc.). Why leave an album on the shelf when, especially in the case of pop music, doing so only allows it to sound even more worthy of being passed over?

Waiting (and Waiting) for a Big Rap Moment [NYT]
Idolator's coverage of delayed albums

I'm starting to wonder if I should create ...

Maura Johnston — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 12:20:46 EST

I'm starting to wonder if I should create a keyboard macro for the phrase "Nicole Scherzinger's album has been pushed back again," because, well, it's been pushed back again. To June 23. (Recall that its original release date was Oct. 16, 2007.) I wonder how many more people will be laid off at Universal Music Group between now and the time the long-delayed lead balloon actually hits store shelves? [Toya's World]

Timbaland Masterminds The World's "Sexiest" Bank Robbery (Or Something)

mjohnston — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 14:45:26 EST

The latest single to emerge from Timbaland's Shock Value is "Scream," a Nicole Scherzinger/Keri Hilson track filled with bad sex metaphors (cake! pie! designated driving!) that Interscope, no doubt, has released in large part because the label's suits still holding on to hope that someone will eventually give a damn about the lead Pussycat Doll's singing/orgasmic moaning abilities.

What they sort of forgot in their rush to save Nicole from her own personality void is that the song isn't very good at all; the titular screaming, which is supposedly happening at the top of someone's sexually excited lungs, actually sounds as if it's being bleated out underwater, an aesthetic choice that makes absolutely no sense to me. It sounds even worse in the two places where I've heard it the most (the radio and YouTube, both low-fidelity venues that make the song's muddiness even more noticeable), causing me, every time I stumble across it, to wonder if this was really the version that was meant to be released. Although now that I think about it "Baby Love" had a similar problem, so maybe Nicole was the "creative mind" behind the way this track turned out. Which says a lot, really.

Timbaland - Scream (feat. Nicole & Keri Hilson) HQ VIDEO [YouTube]

^* And speaking of: Her orgasming abilities are definitely > her singing abilities, but you probably figured that anyway.

A Pussycat Doll Says Goodbye To 2007 In Verse

jharv — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 16:30:54 EST

Despite the fact that her first solo album remains in release-date limbo thanks to every song that Interscope desperately released as a "first" single bouncing right off the charts, possibly ex-Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger still enjoyed 2007, so much so that she has constructed a free associative poem/ransom note out of stuff she once read on inspirational posters that details her awesome year.

End of the year 2007 poem..to you
my, my, my how the time has just flown by
2007 where did it go, so many great memories i'm reminiscing on tonight..
the grammy's, pussycat doll/xtina tour, and "whatever u like"
"baby love" the emas, ama's, and movies rock what a dazzling night!
2007 even more dreams came true!
like buying my mom and dad a home
and singing my very first solo song!
and still many more dreams left for me to strive towards and pursue!
That's why 2008
is another chance,
another new year for us to create
new dreams and to believe that we are what we make
of ourselves.
each one of us were made to accomplish great things in life..
and take it from me, those great things in life don't come easily,
but that's what separates the ones who are willing to march,
the ones who are willing to fight.
sometimes we're not sure why things happen or don't happen the way we'd hoped
but never give up and never loose faith
because it's the dreamers and believers and the doers that in time always find their way home...
Happy New Year's Everyone
here's to 2008!

Well, the meter's a little wonky and the rhyme scheme's a little scatterd, but that's one hell of a stiff upper lip re. "my first solo single." Nicole's righ to look forward to 2008, though, especially because there's only six weeks 'til the start of ~~the search for fresh skanks~~ ~~the search next next Pussycat Doll~~ the reality TV sponsored creation of a whole new Pussycat Dolls spinoff called GIRLICIOUS. Which will air right after Gossip Girl! And before the Wire repeat! May we all get out of this must-see-TV year alive.

End Of The Year 2007 Poem...To You [Pussycat Dolls; HT: my weirdo roommate]

In the latest attempt to save her increasingly ...

mjohnston — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 12:45:59 EST

In the latest attempt to save her increasingly doomed solo album, Nicole Scherzinger is going the "singing about her vagina over a vaguely 'ethnic-sounding' track produced by Akon" route. It's a terrible song, but at least it makes her "I am a very conservative Catholic" claim in the new Entertainment Weekly even more hilarious—except to all the people at Interscope/Geffen who got laid off as a result of "belt-tightening," of course. [Kevipod Music]

Will a breathy, "ethnic"-sounding single ...

mjohnston — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 15:46:39 EST

Will a breathy, "ethnic"-sounding single with a title that will no doubt inspire a thousand "punani" jokes save Nicole Scherzinger's Her Name Is Nicole? Probably not, but that doesn't mean Jimmy Iovine won't pour wayyyy too much money out of Interscope's coffers in an effort to find out! [Kevipod Music]

Obama Vs. Clinton: Whose Musical Taste Sucks More?

jharv — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 12:30:59 EST

So Barry Obama's big benefit shindig coming up next week in California features musical endorsements from Ne-Yo (yay!), the Goo Goo Dolls (uh), Nicole Scherzinger (ack), and will.i.am (dear lord no). Meanwhile, Hilary Clinton has recently ditched Celine Dion's "You And I" (holy shit) as her campaign song in favor of Big Head Todd And The Monsters' "Blue Sky" (could be worse, right?). Forgetting their opinions about, like, stuff salient to running a country, this does not particularly fill us with hope for the future. (Even the Republicans are showing better taste this time out; for instance, did you know Mitt Romney's campaign tune is "I Get Around"^*?) So we put it to you, a year or so early, to decide who you would vote for based solely on these less than stellar musical track records.

Obama '08 [Official Site; HT DHMBIB ]
"You And I" No More? [Political Radar via the Daily Swarm]

^* Possibly wishful thinking on the part of your reporter.

Nicole Scherzinger's solo debut Her Name ...

mjohnston — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 11:46:51 EDT

Nicole Scherzinger's solo debut Her Name Is Nicole—pushed back from an Oct. 6 release date to a Nov. 6 release date to a Nov. 20 release date—will now come out sometime in 2008, thanks to three singles from the album being released to widespread indifference on the part of pretty much everyone. May we also suggest a reshoot of the album cover? [EW]

Pussycat Dolls leader Nicole Scherzinger's ...

mjohnston — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 13:02:15 EDT

Pussycat Dolls leader Nicole Scherzinger's more-doomed-by-the-day Her Name Is Nicole has been pushed back once again, this time from Nov. 6 to Nov. 20. And: One of the new tracks on it features Sting. The odds on this thing completely tanking just shot up faster than you can say Studio 60. [Rap-Up]

Nicole Scherzinger's New Single Tries To Feel Like The First Time

mjohnston — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 12:15:33 EDT

Last month, I wondered if Her Name Is Nicole, the forthcoming solo album from former Pussycat Doll leader Nicole Scherzinger, was en route to becoming a flop—the first single, the T.I.-featuring "Whatever U Like," had lousy sales and bad iTunes feedback (it wound up not even cracking the Hot 100) and a second song, "Super Villain," leaked shortly after "Like" tanked. Now, a third song from the album ("Baby Love," featuring will.i.am) has made its way out to the Internet, and for some reason the PR people working the record are gamely calling the song her "first single." Are attention spans in this decade really that short?

In addition to "Baby Love," and its lengthy, at-sea video, being pushed out and rechristened as the album's first radio offering, the release date for Her Name Is Nicole has been pushed back from Oct. 16 to Nov. 6. Last-minute reworking or schedule fine-tuning on the part of her label? Either way, here's hoping the powers that be retool that godawful cover.

The most surprising thing out of all this? "Baby Love" actually isn't a terrible song—its airy acoustic-guitar balladry actually makes me think of some of the tracks on the Siobhan Donaghy album, albeit in more Americanized, "soulfully sung" form, although the recessed vocals on the chorus sound kind of weird, given that they're supposed to be the big punch of proclaming love and all.

Nicole Scherzinger - Baby Love feat. will.i.am [YouTube]
Earlier: Pussycat Doll Goes Solo, World Goes Back To Whatever It Was Doing Five Minutes Ago

Nicole Scherzinger Apparently Gets A Discount At Glamour Shots' Cancun Outpost

mjohnston — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 12:31:38 EDT

Well, Nicole, if your album does, in fact, flop, at least you have a backup career as a model for the Victoria's Secret sale catalog.

Nicole Scherzinger's "Her Name Is Nicole" Cover! [Kevipod Music]

Pussycat Doll Goes Solo, World Goes Back To Whatever It Was Doing Five Minutes Ago

mjohnston — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 10:02:15 EDT

Could Her Name Is Nicole, the awkwardly titled solo album from lead Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger that drops Oct. 16, be even less anticipated than Curtis? The album—the title of which presumably serves to remind viewers that Scherzinger's name is not, in fact, The Skank In Front—had its first single, the T.I.-featuring "Whatever U Like," drop in late July to low sales (it cracked the Hot Digital Tracks' top 100 in its first week of release, selling 13,000 copies, then disappeared from the chart), tepid fan reaction (sample iTunes review: "I rather spend my 99cents on a pack of gum")^*, and little radio play. The video for the track, a Beyonce-biting "teaser" of which is above, is supposed to premiere on Aug. 28, which makes last night's leak of the album's second single, "Super Villain," all the more curious.

Now, this may be wishful thinking on my part, and if the rumors circulating about Scherzinger and label head Jimmy Iovine are true, Her Name Is Nicole (seriously, how terrible is that title?) will probably become a "hit" by brute force and tie-ins like this ad for the CW, which only serves to further underscore how far that network has fallen from the days of Veronica Mars, i.e. last June. But it's not too far of a jump to think that the sudden "unauthorized release" of "Super Villain" is part and parcel with the "leak as many songs as you can before release date" strategy that was employed as the two last-ditch buzz efforts for Curtis: once before it was eventually pushed back to its current Sept. 11 release date, and again last week with the leak of that Robin Thicke track. Am I just letting my disgust toward all matters Pussycat Doll-related cloud my judgment here, and will the kids who are currently hoovering up every single from the Fergie album put Nicole in their sights next? Or is the public just burned out on the Pussycat Dolls—and unable to give a loosened-up button about who Nicole Scherzinger may be apart from the pack?

NEW Nicole from PCD video intro "Whatever U Like" [YouTube, via A Hot Mess]

^* The 478 people who reviewed the song's explicit version gave it an average of 2 1/2 stars; the 19 people who wrote up the clean version averaged a 3 1/2 star rating. I'm not sure if this is more evidence that we should fear for the next generation of children or what.