You might assume that Doug is be given the star for his stalwart pose against technology, or as some might call it "progress". However, Doug had an legacy already built for himself before taking UMG to the top. He wrote the Chiffons' hit "Sweet Talkin' Guy":

You can even still listen to the track on YouTube, albeit as the soundtrack to a tribute to JFK.

His label, Big Tree Records, brought us such artistically groundbreaking acts as England Dan & John Ford Coley, Brownsville Station, and Lobo.

Sadly, the Lobo he popularized was not the comical television sheriff, but a sensitive singer/songwriter.

Morris isn't the only legend with ties to music the committee chose to honor this year. Look at the stature of these honorees, and you'll understand why they'll have stars next to Keanu Reeves, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, and the televison show Rugrats.

John Stamos!

Dave Koz!

Robert Downey, Jr.!

The Village People!

The Miracles, Babyface, Shakira, and Rush will receive stars, too. Of course, let's not let that take away from Doug's moment in the sun. Enjoy it, before your customers take away the last bit of enjoyment you find in your job.

Diaz, Downey, Jackman Flex Star Power [E! Online]

The last album by Mick and Co.—2005's A Bigger Bang—wasn't exactly a sales gangbuster. It debuted at No. 1 and was certified platinum shortly after its release, but a Lefsetz Letter from Dec. 22, 2005—three months after the album came out—says that the album had actually moved only about 390,000 copies by that point. Most of the money the band realizes these days comes from touring; they made $138.5 million in grosses from being on the road in 2006. So this development, while superficially seeming like a bad thing for EMI, is actually pretty in line with Terra Firma chief Guy Hands' new forced-slimming-down strategy for the label. He's gone on record as saying that he's done with big advances for bands, and I'm sure the Stones were among the artists who could command a huge paycheck by virtue of their name alone—and that said paycheck wouldn't really result in big returns for EMI. What's more curious to me is the Stones' insistence on signing with a label at all; if any band could hook up with Live Nation in a Madonna-like deal, or even self-release their album, it should be them, since their tours are basically a license to print money. Maybe Doug Morris is a lot more charming than we all thought! And by "charming," I mean "willing to write huge checks."

Rolling Stones Move New Album From EMI [FT]
[Photo: AP]

Universal Music: MIA on iLike [Silicon Alley Insider]

The thing is? This installment of the web comic "Hijinks Ensue" actually makes Universal Music Group CEO Doug Morris sound a little more au courant than the Shmoo-crazy Wired profile of him that we linked to last week. "The Napsters" did, after all, appear on the scene within the past 10 years.

Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel [Hijinks Ensue; HT Chris Molanphy]

Discussing Universal's various initiatives, Caraeff, an even-keeled 32-year-old in a crisply tailored suit, is explaining that it's important to be "invigorated and challenged by the opportunities of digital music." At this, Morris puts down his tuna fish on white, wipes some crumbs off his khakis, and clears his throat. I expect him to deliver an explanation of how he learned to stop worrying and love the MP3. Instead, he launches into a rant about a creature that resembles a misshapen bowling ball.

"There was a cartoon character years ago called the Shmoo," he says in a raspy tenor. "It was in Li'l Abner. The Shmoo was a nice animal, a nice fella, but if you were hungry, you cut off a piece of him and put onions on it, and if you wanted to play football you just made him like a football. You could do anything to him. That's what was happening to the music business. Everyone was treating the music business like it was a Shmoo.

"It was only a couple of years ago that we said, What's going on here?' Really, an album that someone worked on for two years — is that worth only $9, $10, when people pay two bucks for coffee in Starbucks?" Morris sighs. "People never really understand what's happening to the artists. All the sharing of the music, right? Is it correct that people share their music, fill up these devices with music they haven't paid for? If you had Coca-Cola coming through the faucet in your kitchen, how much would you be willing to pay for Coca-Cola? There you go," he says. "That's what happened to the record business."

I'd argue that the average consumer's perception of artists is different—and much less negative!—than her perception of the industry, especially its denizens who have corner offices where they can eat their tuna on white. But those sandwiches are merely fueling Morris up for more ire at the digital age!

Back in his dining room, Morris is incredulous. He's once again talking about how his job should simply be finding and breaking new acts. The problem, he says, is that "there's sympathy for the consumer, and the record industry is the Shmoo."

Aw, it's so sad, isn't it? Although why do I seem to not remember the Shmoo having lawyers at the ready. After all, if it did, surely it would've sued the pants off whoever was trying to turn it into a football.

Universal's CEO Once Called iPod Users Thieves. Now He's Giving Songs Away. [Wired]