2 Live And 2 Die On The Web: Idolator’s First-Ever Banned-Words List

As we mentioned last week, we’ve committed our share of hackily spewed-out music-blog prose. So, in an effort to avoid future missteps–and to atone for past violations–we proudly present our banned-word list. After the click-through, an assortment of lazy shorthand and icky slang that we hope to never see again.

Douchebag – Its short-lived revival should have ended somewhere in December of 2004; under no circumstances is the word or any of its permutations (douchebaggy, doucheydoo, etc.) to be used, unless as part of a direct quote.

Driven – As in “guitar-driven,” “Mellotron-driven,” or VH1’s Driven.

Random – To be used only when discussing a matter in which unknown forces affect some sort of outcome (i.e. the lottery, biblical frogstorms). Not to be used when “some random band” opened for another band. It’s not random.

Retarded – Come on.

Totally – As in, “We are totally into this new Mellotron-driven sound.” Really? Is there that big of a difference between being into something, and being totally into something? Are there degrees of totality of which we’re unaware?

“What do you guys think?” – You’ve written a post, stated an opinion, and left a space for comments. So why end every entry with a call for people to respond? Do you really think of them as dullwit meerkats, unsure of whether or not they’re allowed to stop drooling and start writing back? Or are you just completely wishy-washy?

Y’all – Unless the writer happens to be either a) Kelly Clarkson or b) a 14-year-old girl, in no instance should they use this familiarity-assuming term of endearment. The same goes for “‘kay?” and, of course, an ironic-because-it’s outdated “OMG!!”

That’s the list so far. What do you guys think?

2 Live Crew – Banned In The U.S.A. [MP3, link expired]