Idolator’s American Idolatry: The Guys Celebrate Silly Hat Day

noah | February 28, 2007 1:03 am
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Welcome to Idolator’s American Idolatry, our episode-by-episode breakdown of the American Idol process. Last night’s episode, which featured the 10 remaining guys in the competition, was full of bad decisions–there were ill-advised hats, yawn-worthy song choices, and creepy innuendoes that came out of the dedications slapped on to each performance.

THE HIGHLIGHTS: There weren’t many standout performances last night, thanks to the lackluster field and many poor song choices. (Someone really needs to place a hushed-ballad moratorium on this year’s competition.) But Chris Richardson’s take on Jason Mraz’s “Geek In The Pink” was enjoyable, if only because he managed to be both charismatic and on pitch at the same time, while Chris Sligh’s yarly version of Ray LaMontagne’s “Trouble” was passable.

TONIGHT, I DEDICATE (THE TITLE OF) THIS SONG TO YOU: Last night’s show was “dedication night,” but it seemed like some of the shout-outs were a little, well, off. Phil dedicated his nuance-free version of John Waite’s “Missing You,” which has as its chorus “I ain’t missin’ you at all,” to his Navy unit; that was followed by Jared’s over-the-top “Let’s Get It On,” which we’d probably liked at least a little more had he not dedicated it to his mother.

IF ONLY THIS SHOW HAD AIRED BEFORE JAY KAY ANNOUNCED HIS RETIREMENT FROM MUSIC: Blake’s version of “Virtual Insanity” had him wearing a stupid hat and reeling off a mid-song series of “vocal entendres” (his words, not ours) that sounded like Michael Winslow with a gassy stomach. But it was hailed by Randy, who also took time out to say that Jamiroquai “should be huge here.” Just think how different the world would be if this episode had aired 24 hours earlier…

ALTHOUGH: At least Blake’s hat fit him, unlike the chapeau that Sanjaya stole from Michael Jackson’s prop closet.

SUNDANCEWATCH: Mr. Head’s take on “Mustang Sally,” which he dedicated to his son (?!), seemed to have been inspired by the trailer for The Commitments–but somehow, Paula, Randy, and Simon liked it. We’re flabbergasted, to be honest. Perhaps they’re trying to fake out Vote For The Worst?

WHO WE VOTED FOR (IN OUR HEARTS): The two Chrises. But this week, once again, showed how the women are much, much stronger than the men in this year’s competition.

WHO AMERICA WILL PROBABLY CUT: Sanjaya, who looked like he was taking center stage at his high school jazz band recital; Brandon, whose bland performance of “Time After Time” didn’t show off his assets at all. (DialIdol.com has Brandon and Nick in the bottom two.)

PAULA ABDUL OUT-OF-IT SCALE: 7/10. She gave a lot of really crappy performances a really wide berth, and she yelled “Run for your life!” during Blake’s post-performance critique. Nice outfit, though.

Tomorrow: More awkward dedications. Here’s hoping Antonella gives her photographer an extra-special shout-out!

American Idol [americanidol.com] Earlier: Idolator’s American Idolatry archives