Bono To Help Make “Vanity Fair” Even More Self-Important

Now that he’s conquered the worlds of screenwriting and papal fashion, Bono is getting into the glossy-magazine game, volunteering to serve as guest editor of Vanity Fair‘s July issue:

“We need to get better at storytelling,” Bono said, sitting in the 22nd floor of the office of Graydon Carter, the editor of Vanity Fair. “Bill Gates tells me this all the time. We’ve got to get better at telling the success stories of Africa in addition to the horror stories. And this magazine tells great stories”…

Mr. Carter frankly said that he hopes a co-mingling of brands will help sell a tough subject. “We plan on making this an event with more separate cover treatments than the magazine has ever had.”

“I wanted him to change the title and call it ‘Fair Vanity,’ ” Bono said. “He said he’d do that just as soon as I change the band’s name to 2U.”

Mr. Carter said, “Bono really does see the world through rose-tinted glasses.”

Funny! And, more importantly, true. We look forward to Bono’s first story-pitch meeting, during which he tries to sell the staff on such ideas as “Wok On: The Ten Best Chinese Restaurants in the World”; a Christopher Hitchens-penned take-down of Chris Martin; and a 15,000-word “From the Editor” letter that must be read with “Bullet The Blue Sky” playing in the background.

UPDATE: Let’s hope Bono is getting at least $3 a word; according to Advertising Age, his Red campaign isn’t doing so well.

Citizen Bono Brings Africa to Idle Rich [NY Times]