Lead Singer Critiques His Critics, Breaks New Ground In Number-Rating System

noah | July 27, 2007 1:30 am

Paper Thin Walls rang up Eugene Robinson, lead singer of the frequently-compared-to-the-Jesus Lizard outfit Oxbow, to give a once-over to reviews of his band’s recent album The Narcotic Story. Aspiring Oxbow reviewers, take note: the things he likes about his band’s reviews include mentions of his upcoming book, references to Davids Mamet and Lynch, and Paper Thin Walls’ review-a-song approach; things he’s a little weary of include Jesus Lizard comparisons and … uh, David Yow comparisons. And of course, there’s the special brand of ire that he reserves for whoever doles out the number grades at Pitchfork:

Great review. But the 7.4 rating is not what this review supports and I’d be very surprised if the reviewer gave it the 7.4 rating. The 7.4 rating was a blessed gift from some other editorial squib who, in a moment of grand dyspepsia, said “Fuck Oxbow. They’re dicks.” And he/she might be totally right about that.

Robinson gives the review a 9.1, and the number rating a “square root of -2,” which, if we remember our Sequential I Regents study guides correctly, is an imaginary number. Which opens up a lot of “was he hoping that the number grade doled out during a particularly feverish pre-deadline dream?” questions, if nothing else.

Get In The Ring: Oxbow’s Eugene Robinson responds to his record reviews [Paper Thin Walls]