“Branded Entertainment”: It’s Not Just For Chicks Anymore

If you’re reading this and you’re a dude between 18 and 34, you may be wondering how companies plan to reach you, the consumer, in the future. Well, don’t worry! The corporations have you all figured out. According to the “Marketing To Men” conference recently held in New York, the answer is “branded entertainment”, better known to you as the age-old tradition of getting objectionable celebrities to pimp consumer goods. Whore among whores 50 Cent is among those spearheading the most recent multi-pronged attack on beleagured consumers, with not one, not two, but three tie-in products hitting stores in coming months, according to Violator Management’s Chris Lighty:

50 Cent’s “360-degree brand immersion” with Pontiac focuses on “gorilla strategic marketing,” Lighty said. The business deal encompasses “cooler” product placement in music videos, print and viral ad campaigns and hybrid tour sponsorship/marketing platforms. The latter debuts at the Pontiac Garage Concert in Miami and coincides with the VMAs. The rapper is also helping to design Pontiac’s new G6 street edition.

Though 50 Cent doesn’t drink alcohol, the new Absolut Black will appear in an upcoming music video. It is one part of a larger arrangement between 50 Cent, the vodka company and Vitaminwater’s new Vitamin Energy drink. A new print ad campaign, Absolut Energy, is scheduled to debut in the coming weeks.

With his Formula 50 Vitaminwater a success, the artist is now branching out into vitamin supplements with an as yet unknown manufacturer/distributor. If all goes according to plan, the line of 50-branded protein powders and amino fat burners will be sold exclusively at GNC stores. According to Lighty, the products should hit shelves in September or October.

Whoops, maybe they should have waited for the VMA noms to drop before attempting that bit of marketing synergy. Still gents, you’ll soon be able to drive like Curtis, drink like Curtis (if he “doesn’t drink alcohol” then I’m a prohibitionist), and flex like Curtis. From there it’s only a short hop, skip, and a jump to joyless lap dances and being mocked by bloggers.

(Also, seriously: WTF at “gorilla marketing” and not “guerilla marketing”? Is that just an accidental slip on the part of the Billboard writer, a direct (written) quote from the CEO that manages the leader of G(orilla)-Unit, or some 50 Cent neologism that I’m unfamiliar with? Because if it’s not…eesh. Actually, even if it is a 50 saying, it’s still pretty eesh.)

And 50’s not the only rapper branding himself like he popped out of his mama with a registered trademark on his forehead:

Fans of LL Cool J will be pleased to learn that the artist is taking his Todd Smith high-end clothing line into big boxes in the coming months. A lower-priced Todd Smith collection is currently being tested at Sam’s Club locations nationwide. A full launch arrives at Wal-Mart in time for the holiday season.

“Wal-Mart is the biggest retailer today,” Lighty noted. “And no one from hip-hop is speaking to this consumer. We are changing that.”

Well as a male fan of LL Cool J aged 18-34, I can say that I’m just thrilled Todd has hooked up with one of the most evil corporations going. Also, perhaps the reason no one from hip-hop is “speaking to this consumer” is that hyper-conservative Wal-Mart has such a history of hissy fits over carrying, you know, hip-hop CDs.

Still, it’s nice to know the marketing and advertising men have the rest of us penis-havers down to such a finely-honed science:

Throughout the conference, most speakers and attendees agreed that passion points for 18-34 men remain sports, gaming and sex. Nothing surprising here.

Now lets all go play a round of arcade golf at the titty bar and leave the women to lesser things like, I dunno, music.

Branded Entertainment Hot Topic At “Marketing To Men” [Billboard]