Crazed Fox News Goon Calls For <i>Rolling Stone</i> Boycott Until The Majesty Of Poco Is Recognized
Fox 411’s Roger Friedman is pissed at Jann Wenner–running wild with little regard for respect or decency when it comes to pointless honors, meaningless awards, and inane, random canonization–for defiling the good name of rock music with the “tremendous insults” of the most recent round of Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominees. He’s so pissed off, in fact, that he’s calling for all Americans of conscience to boycott Rolling Stone, at least until such time as the titans of country rock and ’70s singer-songwriterdom get their due over those crazy rappers and disco dollies. The following is a partial list of artists Friedman thinks should be inducted into Hall before, say, Chic or Madonna unless Wenner wants some real trouble:
Carly Simon Linda Ronstadt The Moody Blues The J. Geils Band Neil Sedaka Sonny Bono Steve Winwood Poco The Turtles Three Dog Night Hoyt Axton The Hollies
And it just kinda goes on.
Folks, I have to admit that between this and just rattling off over 1k words about High School Musical on skates, my analytical and humorous wires have been totally shorted out. And its not even lunchtime. I can’t even begin to…I mean…Hoyt Axton and Poco? Over Chic? Because Chic is “not rock”? (The article’s also loaded with plain ol’ factual inaccuracies, considering Al Green, one of the “R&B performers who remain in the cold,” was inducted into the Hall 12 years ago.) As much I would like it to be, this is very much not parody, satire, or any sort of intentional humor (though I agree with the Mellencamp diss):
The rest are totally off base, given the above list. Summer was a disco act. For her to get in before Ronstadt is a joke. Mellencamp at least plays rock. But he’s a minor note in the genre’s history. Afrika Bambaataa and the Beastie Boys: Are they kidding? Even the latter must be laughing. They had one big hit, “You’ve Got to Fight for Your Right to Party.” The former, while I’m sure quite lovely, is a record-scratcher with a great name. Each of these belongs in a Rap Hall of Fame.
You know, I never though I’d be witnessing Jann friggin’ Wenner pissing off the squares, but if Bono working with the Spice Girls didn’t hammer it home today already, we clearly live in a crazy-ass world. Or, as Friedman himself points out, “These selections for 2008 are terrible, but they’re just the beginning of what’s going to be a weird ride, thanks to the new generation. To wit: Kanye West is scheduled to be honored soon by the Chicago branch of the Recording Academy.” Heavens!