“Vibe” Has A Few Curious Omissions

Once again, we present Rock-Critically Correct, a feature in which the most recent issues of Rolling Stone, Blender, Vibe, and Spin are given a once-over by an anonymous writer who’s contributed to several of those titles–or maybe even all of them! After the click-through, a look at the new issue of Vibe:

Your boy will begin with a topic that, in light of the fact that this is a week bringing news of Radiohead, will seem archaic–indeed, from a distant epoch. Remember 50 vs. Kanye? Anyone?

The November Vibe contains no reviews of either Curtis or Graduation. Seeing as the simultaneous release of the two records was the hip-hop event of the year, wouldn’t you think the magazine would want to weigh in as to each record’s merits? The subtitle of the mag’s review section, Revolutions, is, after all, “what the world is listening to right now,” and no one could dispute that those records are bring listened to by lots and lots of people at this second.

So! Did the staff conclude that, if Interscope and Def Jam wouldn’t let Vibe‘s reviewers hear the respective albums a month or two ago, then there should be no reviews at all? Was there lingering annoyance that the newsstand viability of Vibe‘s 50 Cent cover in June was orphaned when he decided he needed to record more tunes and pushed the record’s release date back? Could there be similar irritation that West didn’t play ball with Vibe in any way, shape or form in the run-up to his album’s release?

November’s lead review is devoted to Exclusive, the new record from October cover boy Chris Brown. Reviewer Jason King isn’t altogether impressed with it, so at the very least no one can accuse Vibe of logrolling here. As for the rest of the section, once again it seems Vibe reviewers got their hands on a bunch of records–two of which, Hell Rell’s For the Hell of It and Spider Loc’s West Kept Secret; the Prequel, are put out by Koch, an “elephant’s graveyard” for hip-hop–that no one was much anticipating at deadline. Or is there huge interest in will.i.am’s Songs About Girls that YC has missed? Each review is thus largely sleepy: YC’s eyelids started to droop until he was startled to learn that, according to Associate Editor Shanel Odum, Jill Scott used to be “hip-hop’s lauded poet laureate.” Again, Vibe really should do something about the lack of high-profile records reviewed in its pages.

Vibe‘s cover subject this month is one Lil’ Wayne, an artist who forsakes the whole “the week we release the album is the only thing that matters” strategy that major labels are so loath to abandon, and who has put out a staggering amount of music via MySpace and cameos on other artist’s records this year. So YC thinks that he’s pointing a way for artists: be creative and industrious, and don’t worry so much about betting the farm on one fuckin’ CD every two years.

Vibe notes this in “the 77 Best Lil’ Wayne Songs of 2007” and in a sidebar describing why he’s “the best rapper in the world,” both by Associate Music Editor Sean Fennessey. The main article, “The Art of Storytelling” by Laura Checkoway, purports to be an oral history of Weezy, but the piece is almost entirely concerned with how his mother was not a model parent during his childhood and how Cash Money bossman Baby stepped in. Then, it makes a hard left into Weezy’s unambiguous affection for Karine “Superhead” Steffens. Uh, what about everything else in the guy’s life so far? What does he think of being the only teen rapper to avoid mockery upon reaching adulthood, and is now considered the best in the game by connoisseurs?

Hardly an oral history, if you ask your boy. Like YC noted the last time he had a look at Vibe, it seems like all the elements of a good profile are here, but are not integrated. Sure, Weezy expresses a lack of interest in discussing how he works at the conclusion of the “oral history,” but that’s no excuse for this discombobulated package.

YC bears unalloyed hatred for all athletes ever since he was last picked for touch football at the playground when he was seven, so he’s not qualified to assess the merits of Vibe‘s NBA Preview. So he’ll take quick stabs here and there through the issue…

1. In an otherwise tepid piece concerning Common’s prospects as an actor (he’s in the upcoming film American Gangster) should he decide to abandon his recording career, he poses as Tony Montana in a photo: he evokes Pacino’s sneer precisely. Nails it.

2. In this issue’s FOB VMix, in which a bunch of photos are thrown together and juxtaposed with next to no rhyme or reason (Vibe: this section needs fixing very, very badly) there are two truly odd photographs of Lauryn Hill wearing such hideous makeup and clothes that it suggests that she wishes to frighten children, and a shot of West immediately after an auto accident.

3. The first piece in the FOB, “You Gotta Love Me” by Rondell Conaway, somewhat condescendingly attempts to explain the popularity of YC’s beloved T-Pain. In this telling, he’s not a matinee idol but a goofball “blending comedic songwriting and catchy songwriting with undeniable beats,” and Conaway posits that T-Pain’s “approach to music-making” is “alcohol plus sex equals success.” YC believes that this is reductive and will add that “Buy You A Drank” is–whisper it–harmonically sophisticated, and that everyone should be happy when a good-natured underdog like T-Pain comes along and produces music that is instantly identifiable.

So perhaps Vibe should spend less time chuckling at an artist who does not meet their standards and address its own deficiencies. Make like the physician and heal thyself.