Idolator’s Tribute-Video Treasury Gets Down With The Dirty Dame

Once again, Idolator intern Kate Richardson scours the video sites, looking for the best fan-made music videos. In this installment, she finds out why Helen Mirren is a no-good dame with a body beautiful:

Of the current big-name English actress Dames, Helen Mirren is by far the most likely to knock back a few cocktails and say something amusingly inappropriate at a party. She’s presumably friends with Dames Maggie and Judi, but she prefers to hang out with an edgier, less establishment crowd on a regular basis, and she probably thinks that anti-smoking campaigns are stupid. In short, Helen Mirren is the cool Dame. And yet she’s still a classy middle-aged British woman, seemingly impervious to the trappings of modern youth culture. But as usual, the tribute-video community knows nothing of perceived social boundaries.

Song: “You Know I’m No Good” by Amy Winehouse Concept: Helen Mirren as sultry and vaguely nefarious seductress. If there’s one thing that Amy Winehouse’s hooky, gimmicky music is good for, it’s establishing a mood. This video, thanks in equal parts to the song and the well-chosen sex bomb clips, is successfully sensual (well, as sensual as a tribute video can be) while retaining the essential dorky earnestness necessary for all truly amusing fan videos. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Mirren has played many no-good women, so there’s plenty of material from which to cultivate Winehouse-level dirtiness. The editing is uninspired, but not distractingly bad, which makes it great by tribute video standards, and the final product is a solid piece of benevolently creepy fan art. To sum up, I’ll quote the video’s creator: “Enjoy the naughty dame! God knows I do!!” Best music-to-image sync-up moment: 2:39; Mirren as Marat in David’s La Mort de Marat as Amy Winehouse sings “I’m in the tub, you on the seat/Lick your lips as I soak my feet.” That intersection of culture is truly mind-blowing. Silliest music-to-image sync-up moment: Occasionally this category switch-hits as “Most disturbing music-to-image sync-up moment.” In this case, that would be 1:16, at which point Cuba Gooding Jr. sensually thrusts his torso as Mirren bops her way down onto her knees to unbutton his pants. I’m all for cougar sex, but the Dame reminds me just a little too much of my own mom for this to be an acceptable image.

Song: “I Am the Body Beautiful” by Salt-N-Pepa Concept: Mirren as “the house (a whole mansion) of elegance.” Yes. A million times yes. This is perhaps the most underrated Salt-N-Pepa song, and I’m glad it was put to such a bizarre use; Mirren has played enough in-charge ladies to provide ample footage for its themes. I’m especially amused by the use of clips from HBO’s Elizabeth I (which is superior to the Cate Blanchett movies, especially the dreadful one out now); perhaps not Mirren’s most overtly sexual role, but there’s something to be said for reading Elizabeth I as a Salt-N-Pepa-style modern queen. In addition to these thematic strong points, the editing of still shots in a sequence during “Get with the b-e-a-u-t-y, beauty” is particularly entertaining, if a little shoddily executed. Best music-to-image sync-up moment: The short dance sequence at 2:06; Mirren’s moves and ornate garb are perfect for the song. Silliest music-to-image sync-up moment: Again with the disturbing Cuba Gooding Jr. sex scene. But also 1:16, where Salt-N-Pepa sing “I’m sensual/I am body beautiful” during a clip where Queen Elizabeth, decked out in battle-ready armor, rallies the English troops. Not exactly her most sensual moment.

Verdict: Both videos share an almost uncomfortable, yet inoffensive tone of general luridness, and both are essentially pretty entertaining, so it’s hard to pick. I’ll give the advantage to the Salt-N-Pepa video if only for its attempt at creative editing.

Special announcement: While stumbling upon the many Helen Mirren videos on YouTube this week, I came across this fun-to-watch Helen tribute set to Sixpence None the Richer’s “Kiss Me.”

This reminded me of how much I loved the X-Files tribute set to that song from a few months back. Maybe it’s just because I’m a really pathetic sucker for “Kiss Me,” but I truly think that it is the ultimate song for tribute-video background music. And with that in mind, I am now officially accepting your homemade music videos set to “Kiss Me.” As in a contest, yes. I realize that you people lead busy lives, but if you can find a little time in your schedule for a modicum of silliness, I would be thrilled. The requirements are pretty wide open: take as much time as you want, put it together however you please (still images from Google, clips from movies, etc.), and once I’ve accumulated enough videos (assuming I accumulate any at all), I’ll declare a winner. The prize is yet to be determined. It may or may not be a tacky e-card.

Send all submissions to kate AT idolator dot com. (Standard contest rules apply.)