Translating The TV Ad For Britney Spears’ New Album

noah | October 19, 2007 11:35 am
I caught this ad for Britney Spears’ Blackout yesterday on TRL, where it’s presumably airing because “Gimme More”‘s off-the-chart status has resulted in only a seven-second clip of its chorus being played on the show, as opposed to a thirty-second clip that includes a verse. The ad is not only notable for the way it recuts the “Gimme More” video into something even more incoherent, but because buried within its 30 seconds are a bunch of statements that could be seen as coded messages from Britney’s label, Jive, to the album’s intended audience:

“The legendary Miss Britney Spears” We’re guessing that you don’t remember that this phrase is actually part of “Gimme More,” since the ungrateful shits at MTV don’t play the video in full at any hour that isn’t ungodly. And we’ve given them so much over the years!

“The hit single ‘Gimme More'” It may be skidding down the charts, but it’s still sorta gaining at radio, y’all! (Actually, we’re surprised that they didn’t mention that “More” was Britney’s highest-charting single in years, but maybe they saw that as too desperate.)

“The new songs everybody’s talking about” Yes, we read Oh No They Didn’t.

“Today’s biggest star” And TMZ, too. And Perez Hilton. And … well, let’s just say that you really don’t want to read our Google News alerts. Because they make us cry every day.

“Rush-released” We’re pretty much expecting this record to tank, but our bean-counters decided that coming in on the charts behind the Eagles would be a lot less embarrassing than losing out to Celine Dion. (At least Blackout will sell more than that Backstreet Boys album … right? Right?)

“The new album the world has been waiting for” If we say it enough times, it’ll be true! And maybe then her success will inspire her to finally hire a driver.

Britney Spears Blackout Spot [YouTube]