Idolator Live-Blogs The 2007 mtvU Woodies: Bring On The (Tape-Delayed) “College Music”
Every year, mtvU holds its sorta-inappropriately-named awards show to celebrate the artists whose record labels have made a concerted effort to market to the college demographic. The channel–perhaps the last thing left under the MTV logo which actually deigns to play blocks of music videos in their entirety–is available only on campus cable, and it is neither as cutting edge, nor as anti-corporate, as it presents itself. But it doesn’t have any scripted reality programs, which in this day in age makes it a bastion of integrity. So join me as mtvU attempts to put on an awards show where performers supposedly sing with their God-given voices and do mildly irreverent things that are still too edgy for regular basic cable programming.
8:04 p.m. What’s happening? Maura’s here behind me in this venue but I can’t see her. Patrick Stump just showed up during Lupe Fiasco’s show opening performance. Maura’s freakin’ out right now probably. So Lupe Fiasco just performed. I just got off the red carpet. I’ll tell you about it later. Kenan Thompson showed up for some reason. He was high and delightful and made the press tent smell like weed. Almost the highlight (pun intended?) except for when I gave Rilo Kiley some M&Ms. More later. Woodie of the year goes to…
Gym Class Heroes. Laaame
8:15 p.m. We’re on a commercial break, thank God. This event is strange, but kind of neat, actually. All the artists are just hanging out on uncomfortable-looking bar stools by the stage. A Shins song is playing. It’s so college!
8:17 p.m. Maura is here like a crazy ghost I can’t see. She’s IMing me from her mobile device. Her fashion commentary: “also: the fedoras need to stop all around.”
8:22 p.m. Fall Out Boy is presenting Best Video. Pete Wentz is talking waaaay too much. Being in like 7th grade talking about how he can say fuck on mtvU. That’s great, Pete. Put Patrick Stump on the mic. Also part of the copy for this award presentation is “The mtvU award for best video isn’t about cinematography…” SHITTY VIDEOS WIN AWARDS! The winner is…
Say Anything, Pete’s “personal favorite record of the year.”
8:26 p.m. Kenan Thompson is high and requesting that everyone in college “make some noise.” Please let him run this whole show from here on out. He just said “FUCK the POlice.” He’s introduced Tokyo Police Club. I like this song, plus the lead singer and I had a moment on the red carpet laughing about Woodie puns. They sound pretty good. Maura says: BLOG BAND.
8:30 p.m. Ohh! Two songs from one band…at an awards show! Maybe this mtvU is okay after all. It would be better if the blog zombies could sit closer to the stage, though…I can’t really see anything at all.
8:34 p.m. I feel like The Shins are going to sweep this bullshit. Figures.
8:40 p.m. Maura just sat down next to me with a vodka drink. This night is full of surprises!
8:45 p.m. Finally back from the “commercial break,” which can be as mercifully long as need be. Talib Kweli just introduced some guy with backup dancers in fluorescent bikinis. No joke. Ok, I’m pretty sure this is Spank Rock. I can barely see what’s going on. The bass is out of hand in this place. There are like 10 “fine ass dancin’ girls” on the stage. They don’t really have a routine, but that’s okay. They’re wearing fluorescent spandex. Lots of awkward white kids on stage now dancing. What’s going on? The stage kind of just turned into a weird club full of fine ass dancin’ girls and white college kids. The song has gone on too long. Not fun from the back of the room…
8:54 p.m. The Academy Is…just won some sort of viral video award. They were negative about the fanfic when asked on the red carpet. But more on that later.
8:57 p.m. Tom DeLonge is presenting the Best Music on Campus award. Indirectly alluding to Blink 182. You know, back when he was fun and not a pretentious ass hole. Anyway, these bands are college kids who put out their own stuff, I think. One of them who showed up on the red carpet was so fucking obnoxious. I hope they lose. They’re sitting right in front of us. Okay, they didn’t win. All is right. A band called Stella by Starlight won. I think they’re from Duke. They were nice, but a little boring on the red carpet.
9:01 p.m. Aw, they just said “Now we got a Woodie!” in their acceptance speech. Thanks for this endless dumb wordplay, mtvU.
9:10 p.m. Annie Lennox is at the podium. Nobody knows why she’s here. Something humanitarian or some shit. Bring back Gym Class Heroes! Just kidding, that band makes me want to hide in a box underground. I can’t really hear Annie. Okay, she’s presenting the “Good Woodie.” Seems like nobody is listening because they’re all like “Who’s this old lady?” Shame on these people for talking so much during her presentation. Why isn’t Fall Out Boy nominated for their Invisible Children video? The guy from Red Jumpsuit Apparatus just stood on the table and screamed about being nominated for his charity award. Classy.The winner is…Guster! The crowd is pretty unenthusiastic. Poor Guster.
Haha a security guy just made dude from Red Jumpsuit Apparatus get off the table!
9:17 p.m. The Academy Is…performing. You know how I feel about them already.
9:25 p.m. The Academy Is…doing another song. They’re playing great, but this venue is kind of dead, or maybe it just seems that way SO FAR FROM THE STAGE.
9:32 p.m. Spank Rock just drank something out of a high heel shoe right in front of us. He appears to be guest blogging for Alex Blagg right now. This is a weird event with a lot of down time during which drunk non-famous music people can act like fools. That’s what’s happening here.
9:45 p.m. (Yes, there was that long of a break) Say Anything are drunk and trying to read the teleprompter. Oh lord. Presenting the Breaking Woodie. And the award goes to…
Boys Like Girls. Oof, that just broke my woodie.
9:48 p.m. Rilo KILEY! Playing fucking MONEYMAKER. Fuck that. I’m still bitter. And I genuinely do hate this song, although they’re doing a much better acoustic version of it. I can live with that, I guess.
9:54 p.m. Now they’re playing “Breaking Up.” Eh. Also she IS wearing hot pants. And playing a cowbell. Get out of here with this song.
9:57 p.m. It’s done. I have no particular feelings on this night.
