The Ideal Indie Rock Woman: Pale, Malnourished, And With Really Bad Bangs
Stereogum released the results of its reader-voted “2007 Gummy Awards” today, and once again the winners in “Ms. Indie Rock” prove that when it comes to wank-mining material, your average indie-rocking male is looking for (gasp!) a skinny white girl with a shaggy haircut. Emphasis on the “skinny.” And did we mention the “white”? Aside from a few notable tokens exceptions, there are enough pointy elbows and too-sad-to-leave-the-house complexions here to fill up a year’s worth of American Apparel advertisements. Way to reject mainstream standards of beauty, dudes! The guy hotties list also features many downy, bony gents, yet somehow offers a slightly wider range of body types than the chick list’s parade of waifs. The full lists are after the jump, but first our thoughts on the least sexy year-end round-up of 2007.
THE GOOD: Not even going there. THE BAD: Sure, you could pen a 10,000-word rant on how this list of female fantasy objects reflects indie rock’s insular ideals even when it comes to sex, but we’ll just say that sexism, stereotyping, and body image issues will no longer be a concern in indie culture when a lady who looks like Dan Deacon makes it into the Top 20. THE WHAAAA? R&B queen Sharon Jones deserves to be on this list if anyone does, but aside from wrecking the curve in terms of both age and ethnicity, who in their right mind would class Ms. Jones as an “indie rock” hottie? (Also whoever voted for Natalie Portman needs their life changed with a boot in the ass.)
Chick Hotties 50 Elisa Ambrogio (Magik Markers) 49 Laura Burhenn (Georgie James) 48 Hesta Prynn (Northern State) 47 Jesca Hoop 46 Uffie 45 Jemina Pearl (Be Your Own Pet) 44 Scout Niblett 43 Mariqueen Maandig (West Indian Girl) 42 Natalie Portman 41 Grace Potter (Grace Potter and the Nocturnals) 40 Victoria Legrand (Beach House) 39 Victoria Bergsman (Taken By Trees) 38 Rosay (The Pipettes) 37 Amanda Palmer (The Dresden Dolls) 36 Ninja (The Go! Team) 35 Sharon Jones 34 Nicole Atkins 33 Robyn 32 Becky Stark (Lavender Diamond) 31 Laura Veirs 30 Amy Millan (Stars) 29 Kazu Makino (Blonde Redhead) 28 Gwenno (The Pipettes) 27 Shara Worden (My Brightest Diamond) 26 Amy Winehouse 25 Marissa Nadler 24 Beth Ditto (The Gossip) 23 Björk 22 Kathryn Calder (The New Pornographers/Immaculate Machines) 21 Meg White (The White Stripes) 20 Marnie Stern 19 Polly Jean Harvey (PJ Harvey) 18 Lovefoxxx (CSS) 17 Sara Quin (Tegan And Sara) 16 Kate Nash 15 Régine Chassagne (Arcade Fire) 14 Eleanor Friedberger (The Fiery Furnaces) 13 Karen O. (Yeah Yeah Yeahs) 12 Regina Spektor 11 Lily Allen 10 Joanna Newsom 09 Tegan Quin (Tegan And Sara) 08 Natasha Khan (Bat For Lashes) 07 Emily Haines (Metric/Broken Social Scene) 06 Neko Case 05 Chan Marshall (Cat Power) 04 Maya Arulpragasam (M.I.A.) 03 Annie Clark (St. Vincent) 02 Jenny Lewis (Rilo Kiley) 01 Leslie Feist (Feist)
Dude Hotties 50 Naeem Juwon (Spank Rock) 49 Eddie Argos (Art Brut) 48 Chris Bear (Grizzly Bear) 47 Carl Newman (The New Pornographers) 46 Rufus Wainwright 45 James Mercer (The Shins) 44 Josh Homme (Queens of the Stone Age) 43 Morrissey 42 Blake Sennett (Rilo Kiley) 41 Thurston Moore (Sonic Youth) 40 Jonny Greenwood (Radiohead) 39 Alex Turner (Arctic Monkeys) 38 Will Oldham 37 Kele Okereke (Bloc Party) 36 Caleb Followill (Kings Of Leon) 35 Brandon Flowers (The Killers) 34 Colin Meloy (The Decemberists) 33 Jeff Tweedy (Wilco) 32 Mark Ronson 31 Ed Droste (Grizzly Bear) 30 Devendra Banhart 29 Tim Harrington (Les Savy Fav) 28 Ted Leo 27 Ben Bridwell (Band Of Horses) 26 Paul Banks (Interpol) 25 Patrick Wolf 24 Owen Pallett (Final Fantasy) 23 Sam Beam (Iron & Wine) 22 Kanye West 21 Gregg Gillis (Girl Talk) 20 Will Sheff (Okkervil River) 19 Craig Finn (The Hold Steady) 18 Jack White (The White Stripes) 17 Bradford Cox (Deerhunter) 16 Dan Deacon 15 Conor Oberst (Bright Eyes) 14 Ryan Adams 13 Kevin Drew (Broken Social Scene) 12 Matt Berninger (The National) 11 James Murphy (LCD Soundsystem) 10 Win Butler (Arcade Fire) 09 Spencer Krug (Sunset Rubdown) 08 Andrew Bird 07 Noah Lennox (Animal Collective/Panda Bear) 06 Thom Yorke (Radiohead) 05 Sufjan Stevens 04 Britt Daniel (Spoon) 03 Zach Condon (Beirut) 02 Kevin Barnes (of Montreal) 01 Jens Lekman
Indie Rock Hotties Of 2007 [Stereogum]
