Shins Keyboardist Arrested; A Comment Section Reacts

noah | January 7, 2008 8:55 am

Over the weekend, the Shins’ Marty Crandall was arrested for his involvement in a domestic dispute with his now-ex-girlfriend Elyse Sewell, a former America’s Next Top Model contestant who broke the news on her Livejournal shortly after she made bail. (The post she wrote about the incident, which includes photos of her bruised arm, has been friendslocked at the advice of her legal counsel, but it’s been reproduced elsewhere.) Crandall was held over the weekend and has apparently since been released. As is often the case with ugh-inducing incidents involving indie rock semi-luminaries, the Brooklyn Vegan post on the arrest has been the go-to place for the music-blog cognoscenti’s reactions, and while some of them actually address the situation semi-intelligently, most of them are about as tasteful as you’d expect from a Web site that allows its readers to post anonymously:

I’M NOT SHALLOW, BUT I HAVE TO SAY… • “Another clear example of how women are so much more shallow than men. No way does a guy who looks like Marty get this hottie unless he is famous. Just disgusting.”

OBLIGATORY ZACH BRAFF JOKES (THAT ARE FUNNIER THAN ANYTHING ON SCRUBS) (WHICH ADMITTEDLY ISN’T SAYING MUCH) • “So The Shins WILL change your life. THROUGH A BLITZKRIEG OF VIOLENCE.” • “Wasn’t your mom in “Garden State”? No, wait, I remember now: I *did* your mom in the Garden State.”

LOOK, AN OPPORTUNITY FOR ARTISTIC GROWTH • “He shouldn’t be fired just because he’s in a band that plays fluffy, non-threatening music. If anything it should give the band a much needed rougher edge. Just think of him as the bad boy of the group. Every boy band needs one.”

PLEASE DON’T LET THIS BREAK UP THE BAND • “Sounds like a wild party! Unfortunately this makes the whole band look band. Hope they can ditch him and keep on making good music. I say good, because good • “It’s too bad that the only band member who actually talks to the audience will have to be replaced. What an idiot.”

THE LONE VOICE OF REASON (OR MAYBE JUST HAVING A MOMENT OF INEBRIATED CLARITY) “I’m going to judge the shit out of both of them (which correlates in no way to be me being home, alone, and on the internet at 3:00 AM on a Saturday night). I can publicly make insane assumptions about people based on scant information whenever I want–I use the internet!”

Shins member Martin Crandall arrested for domestic violence against America’s Next Top Model Elyse Sewell [BrooklynVegan] Top Model Elyse Sewell And Dorky Indie Rock Boyfriend Arrested For Domestic Violence [Jezebel]